You know that visceral reaction some have had to the octuplets story? The disbelief over each new detail about the mother that is wholly inconsistent with responsible parenthood? The frustration brought on by the realization that taxpayers will foot the bill for all this? That sickening, sinking feeling that comes from imagining all the challenges awaiting these babies?

Well, that is exactly the kind of response we should have when it comes to the issue of unplanned pregnancy.

Like uber-breeder Nadya Suleman, mothers who become parents before they themselves say they're ready face a higher incidence of poverty, relationship turmoil and single parenthood. Taxpayers are also on the hook for much of the financial burden associated with raising children born of unplanned pregnancy, just like they will likely be for the octuplets. And most importantly, like that now-famous octet, babies born of unplanned pregnancies face enormous obstacles, from neglect and father absence to developmental delays and poverty. The biggest difference is that there are only eight new Suleman babies, while unplanned pregnancy in the United States accounts for more than a milllion births every year.

So don't stop questioning the medical ethics and societal influences that allowed the octuplet situation to happen. Don't stop criticizing the seemingly selfish and unrealistic fantasies of the parent in this story. And don't stop talking about how babies deserve better. But please, don't limit your concern to the Suleman family.

Somehow I managed to live 30+ years without having to change a single diaper, but that all changed eight weeks ago today when my wife and I became new parents to our daughter, Lucy. While I am not a parenting expert yet and still have a lot of questions, I think I am getting the hang of life as a new parent. Dirty diapers, it turns out, are only the tip of the iceberg. In the last two months, I have learned a great deal about babies and what it means to be a father - things I never knew before.

Get your Mr. Mom on after the jump.

Once again, we have a press-worthy pregnancy—17-year-old Bristol Palin. As one of my children used to say, "I have questions."

1. Why has this event not lead to a huge focus on the benefits of teens not getting pregnant in the first place? The best choice for teens is to delay sex (which apparently did not happen here), but the next best thing is to use contraception. Why is that not THE main topic? In my view, the plan that has been announced is LESS attractive—less desirable—than primary prevention.
   
   
2. Why is this pregnancy apparently okay—or at least off limits—just because a shotgun wedding is planned? Do we all really think that as long as teens get married there is no problem? Is that the best we can do?
   
   
3. Why is no one talking about the putative father who himself says he is not interested in kids? Babies and children need devoted fathers. Do we have one in the making here? When both parents actively seek and welcome a pregnancy, the future prospects of their children are much enhanced.
   

We note the following from Barack Obama's speech last night:

"We may not agree on abortion, but surely we can agree on reducing the number of unwanted pregnancies in this country."

And this:

"...we must also admit that programs alone can't replace parents, that government can't turn off the television and make a child do her homework,that fathers must take more responsibility to provide love and guidance to their children."

I heard this week that a scrappy little nonprofit called Dads and Daughters is closing its doors after a decade of great work.  Their reason for closing is funding problems - not surprising in this tough economy - but still sad and worthy of a mention here.  The mission of this group has been to promote the importance of father-daughter relationships, both in the real world and in the media.  After all, dads are the first men to love us, to value us, to tell us in a million ways that we are worthy, smart, important, and safe.  Talk about building blocks for the future! 

It makes me so mad, and so scared, that a group like this - devoted to committed parenting, girl empowerment, and healthy relationships - can't survive, while the creepy purity ball culture continues to pack the banquet halls of America.  Why is it easier to find support for virginity pledges to dad (that amount to little more than contracts of ownership over teen girls' bodies) than to find support for smart, constructive, relationship-building work that truly values the role of fathers in girls' lives? 

Check out their 10 tips for Dads of Daughters.  Good stuff. 

There are at least 6 dead trees on my desk as I gear up for my first blog entry.  I am nervous.  I am excited.  I don't know what to write about so...I will tell you why the dead trees -- I mean, the massive reports -- I have in front of me are distressing.  All are from very well regarded groups.  All are scholarly, loaded with graphs, bloviating at full throttle with phrases like "priorities for public policy should be based on the following core principles..."   ALL talk about the problem of poverty in America, especially child poverty, along with some specific parts of the grim picture, including dropping out of high school.