Ever wonder how births among teen girls have changed over the past 15 years? Or if parents ever disagree about whether their pregnancy was planned or not? Or even wonder how an unplanned pregnancy might affect the relationship stability of the parents? Or their happiness in their relationship? Don't look any further for answers, simply check out the 5 new sections of our DCR (Data, Charts, Research) Report and find out!

Section E - The Changing Portrait of Teen Childbearing Over Time
This section provides a portrait of teen births among girls age 15-19 in the United States, from 1991 to 2006. More specifically, the section explores the distribution of teens giving birth by age, race/ethnicity, nativity, marital status, and education, as well as the proportion of teen births that are low birth weight and are premature.
Highlights: Non-Hispanic white teens account for the largest share of teen births. However, since 1991, the proportion of teen births that are to non-Hispanic white and non-Hispanic black teens has decreased while the proportion of teen births to Hispanic teens has increased.  

"Cohabitation is no place for children" writes nationally-syndicated columnist Michael Gerson.

In a piece that appeared yesterday in the Washington Post, Gerson makes the case that Brad Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, and others have made. Namely, children do best in two-parent, stable, married families. For Gerson, Wilcox, and many others, they would underscore the married part.

Let's take his argument in bites.

• Being a 20-something at present is different in important ways from previous decades.
• Two markers of this change are earlier sexual activity and later age of marriage.
• In the absence of what Brad Wilcox calls the traditional "courtship narrative"--dating, marriage, children--many young people have adopted a different life choice: cohabitation.
• Gerson concedes that the link between sex and marriage is a thing of the past. However, he believes that the connection between marriage and having children remains absolutely essential.

A gross oversimplification to be sure, but you get the point. Gerson also notes:

• Marriage is "the most effective institution to bind two parents for a long period in the common enterprise of marriage."
• Age of marriage matters too---Gerson calls the early to mid-20s the "marital sweet spot" for marital longevity and happiness.
• Citing research by Wilcox, Gerson says "serial cohabitation trains people for divorce...cohabitation by engaged couples seems to have no adverse effect on eventual marriage."

That's a lot to chew on. We are anxious to hear what you think. Put you comment shoes on and get busy.

It was the weirdest "talk" we had ever had.

My mother had always been very open and honest with me when I had questions about sex and relationships, but this just took the cake. So what was this strange piece of unsolicited advice I received as we drove through my high school boyfriend's neighborhood?

"I know you really love him, but don't marry him. It's okay to have sex with him if you think that's the right thing to do."

Maybe she saw the gleam in my angst-y, seventeen-year-old eyes as we drove past his house on the way home from school that day. Maybe she remembered what it was like to be a teenager in love. Maybe she and her sisters had visited a spirit guide on their annual girls' night out earlier that year who told her that her youngest daughter would marry before the age of 20 (true story). Whatever it was - and I'm assuming it's probably a combination of all three of these factors - this was a message she delivered with the same urgency and conviction as the information she had been giving me about my body and birth control, the realities of raising kids, and all the other important stuff for my entire life.

Yesterday on The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra interviewed Eric and Lauren, a couple who waited until they got married to have sex. After two years of marriage they are still virgins because Lauren freaks out every time they attempt to have sex. Click here to watch a clip of the interview and see what Jezebel had to say about it.

I don't know if religion played a part in their decision to wait to have sex. But as a card-carrying member of the Christian community I can tell you that I have heard this story before. It goes like this: boy meets girl, they fall in love, and because they are "good Christians" they wait to have sex until they get married, and then after the wedding sex is a huge obstacle for the woman. Why, might you ask? Because a ring and a marriage certificate do not erase years of being told: "Sex is bad. Don't do it, and as a Christian girl, with no sexuality of your own, it's your job to play defense because boys can't control themselves." I'm not saying that abstinence until marriage is a bad thing. But in my opinion, teaching women to fear sex and their own sexuality is emotionally and spiritually damaging.

The church teaches so many good things about relationships: love, respect, commitment, compromise, communication, and self-sacrifice. But I think it can do a better job of talking about sex and sexuality.

Polls suggest that teens feel that girls receive different messages than boys about sexuality. Do you think your church (if you have one) sends different messages to girls and boys?

Do you think churches should change the way they teach about sexuality?

My cousin became a single mom last year. I don't know the other 1,714,642...

Families are diverse. I get that. I experience this diversity among my friends, neighbors, colleagues and family members. Any one of us can look within our own circle of humanity and see families of all shapes and sizes--one parent, two parent, married, unmarried--who are wonderfully dedicated to their children (or not), and who are thriving (or struggling) at a particular point in time. And whenever the media or the wonks wring their hands over the declining numbers of married parent families, I hear about someone's sister who became president of a bank while raising her son on her own (and doing just fine thank you very much), or the friend who got tired of waiting for Mr. Right and conceived through sperm donation, or the neighbor couple who aren't really sure enough to tie the knot but are very good parents to their baby girl.

These personal stories are offered as a counterpoint to national statistics that warn of increased risks to child well-being as married parent families become a thing of the past. But one does not negate the other--both the personal stories and the national statistics are likely true.

We will always find among us parents with enough resilience to overcome adversity, but the national data tell us that, on average, raising children outside of a stable two parent family increases the adversity that parents will need to overcome. I believe in embracing all children and their families, but we also need to acknowledge that some paths into parenthood are more perilous than others--for both parents and their children.

A recently released study on marriage and the impact of childbearing on marriage determined that after the birth of their first child, couples experience a sudden decrease in marital quality. While couples without children also experience declines in marital quality over time, the decline is much more gradual. The overall conclusion from the research is that becoming parents is a particularly challenging time for couples--probably not surprising findings for most parents or couples.

Now imagine how the data on relationship quality would look if it turned out that the pregnancy was unplanned--or if the couple wasn't married when they found out they were about to become parents. Couples in these situations are more likely to break up than married couples who plan their pregnancy. Clearly, becoming a parent can be very rewarding, but it isn't easy. Parents will be better suited for this adventure if they decide to plan when they are ready (or not ready) for the challenging task of raising a child together.

As Stefanie points out below, and as several of our other bloggers have mentioned, the media--TV, movies, magazines, etc.--are brimming with "information" about sex and relationships. Sometimes they even go so far as to point out that sex without contraception can lead to pregnancy. However, these Hollywood portrayals more often than not lead to some sort of happy ending in which the couple sticks together and everything works out by the time the credits roll around.

If only real life worked out so neatly...just yesterday I was reading the morning free paper and stumbled upon an advice column featuring a letter from a woman who is concerned about her friend who became pregnant as the result of a drunken hook-up with a former boyfriend. According to the letter, the friend is holding on to the hope that the boyfriend (who has previously stolen, lied, and cheated) will come back because of the baby. Have you heard this from someone you know? How'd it turn out?

Unfortunately, research suggests that most couples who have an unplanned pregnancy aren't married or even living together by the time the baby is two (i.e. "Sex won't make him yours, and a baby won't make him stay"). Far be it from me to say that drunken trysts with ex-boyfriends are off-limits, but it's time we start talking and thinking about the consequences of conceiving and bearing children as a result. Huge advances in the field of family planning have given us great contraceptive methods that can be used/taken/inserted long before we are at the bar/club/bedroom. So...

How do we encourage more people to use these modern, effective methods instead of relying on the mantra of "it won't happen to me"...or thinking it might be for the best if it "accidentally" does?

Monday night's Gossip Girl was just as steamy and scandalous as expected. However, one of the biggest 'OMG' moments of the show was when Lily van der Woodsen pulled out one page of her "list," an extensive inventory of every man she's dated (in perfect cursive, probably on personalized Kate Spade stationary, no doubt). Her current beau, Rufus Humphrey, gasps and then lets out a sigh of relief that there weren't even more notches on her bedpost. Little does he know (or at least not until later in the episode) that another double columned piece of stationary is still hidden in her purse.

How many is too many? Is it possible to have too few? Does it even matter?

I have heard a girl friend groan, "Ugh, can not believe I'm up to number 5 already. I'm only 20!" since due to some complicated algorithm, she could predict that her "number" will have entered the double digits by her desired engagement age of 26, and that is just unacceptable. A double digit number would render her unsuitable for marriage and ensure her a lifetime full of sympathetic looks, dinners for one and of course, cats.

Continuing a tradition from last year, the British Journal of Medicine recently released a list of 6 medical myths that most people (even doctors) believe. In honor of their new tradition I'd like to add a few myths about teen and unplanned pregnancy to the list.  What myths have you heard from your friends and family?  Tell us about them in the comments field below.

6 Myths about Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy for the Holiday Season:

1. It won't happen to me.
   Nearly half of all pregnancies in the U.S. are unplanned, which suggests that having an unplanned pregnancy is a lot more common than many people realize.  More than 80% of teen pregnancies are unplanned and a full 70% of pregnancies to single women in their twenties are unplanned as well.
   
   
2. Parents don't matter.
   Teens consistently say that teens are the most influential when it comes to their decisions about sex.  Other research also indicates that parents play a huge role in the decisions that teens make, and a close relationship between teens and their parents decreases their risk for teen pregnancy.  Worried about talking to your kids about sex, love, and relationships?  The National Campaign has some tips to get you started.
    
3. A baby will make him stay.
   In fact among teen mothers, eight out of ten fathers don't marry the mother of their child.  These absent fathers pay less than $800 annually for child support, often because they are poor themselves. Children who live apart from their fathers are also five times more likely to be poor than children with both parents at home.
   
   Women who have an unplanned pregnancy and birth are also much less likely to either move in with their partner or get married compared to women who plan their pregnancy and birth.  In fact, less than half of women who have an unplanned birth are married by the time their child is 2 years old (an additional 17% are cohabiting).
    
4. Being in a serious relationship is a good reason to stop using birth control.
   People often get lax about contraception as a relationship gets more serious and feelings become more intimate.  But as the relationship heats up, it's time to be more careful, not less.  Remember, either abstaining from sex or using contraception each and every time you have sex is the best way to avoid an unplanned pregnancy.
      
5. Everybody's doing it.
   In fact, less than half (48%) of all high school student have ever had sex. Don't believe everything you hear. People lie, and exaggerate, and can talk a good game when it comes to sex. In the end, it doesn't matter who's telling the truth or not. The only truth that matters is what's best for you. Yeah, that sounds corny -- but it's true.
    
6. Because you've said "yes" once means you have to say "yes" every time.
   Just because you decided to have sex one time, or with one person, doesn't mean you have to have sex again, or with everyone.  Most teen girls (53%) and one-third of teen boys (33%) say they had mixed feelings about having sex the first time it happened.

The word "marriage" is on everyone's lips these days. Marriage can be classified as religious, practical, ideological, cultural, and civic, which can make it tricky to define. Most people will agree that one very practical element of it is the stability it offers for couples who want to start a family.

The National Campaign and others refer to getting an education, getting married, then starting a family—in that order—as the "success sequence." And for good reason—research has shown that following this sequence typically produces better outcomes for children and families. But when, if ever, is the "getting married" part optional?

Ta-Nehisi Coates recently explored the topic of marriage in the context of his own life in order to explain his opposition to the now infamous Proposition 8 and other measures to limit the rights of same-sex couples. Read the complete post here.

Not to spoil it for you, but the gist of Coates' argument is that everyone should have the right to marry if they choose, but that marriage is not necessarily right for everyone. Note that Coates' reasons for not getting married do not include commitment-phobia, insecurity about the permanence of his and his partner's relationship, or a cavalier attitude toward parenting. In fact, Coates recently wrote a book about the important role a father can play in his children's development.

So, just how optional is marriage in a couple's decision to start a family?

 Sharon Jayson's piece in USA Today notes that the median age for getting married is now at a record high---26 for women, 28 for men.  In the piece that explores the wait/don't wait conundrum, is this pithy invitation for discussion:  "Marriage used to be the first step into adulthood, but now it is often the last." 

Thoughts? Agree? Disagree? 

Laura Beil---a terrific reporter who has written repeatedly and skillfully about teen pregnancy and related issues---has a piece on abstinence education in the current issue of Newsweek.  

The piece delves into the abstinence education debate aplenty but it was the following passage that really captured my attention:

The vast majority of public-health experts, however, seldom discuss sex education and marriage in the same sentence. They gauge success by pregnancies prevented, germs not contracted, and kids who enter adulthood with a healthy view of sexuality. The public-health community views a wait-until-marriage message as blind to the world most teens inhabit. The average age of matrimony has steadily climbed, and is now past age 25. (Which is probably why 95 percent of Americans don't walk down the aisle as virgins.)

So what about it?  Should discussions of relationships and marriage have a more prominent role in sex education? Discuss  and decide.

So, let's see if I have this right: teen pregnancy is okay—"beautiful," in fact—as long as no abortion occurs and as long as there is a shotgun marriage. In addition, becoming a parent at 17 or 18 is preferable to a bit of accurate sex education and preferable to using birth control.

A full seven years ago, E.J. Dionne wrote, "It's better for unmarried teens to avoid premature sex than to use contraception, but it's better to use contraception than to get pregnant." I guess the revision we are asked to swallow is, "It's better to get married as a teen than to use contraception," even though 60% of teen marriages fail, and 80% do when the bride is pregnant.

Note from the blogkeeper: Today's post by Jennifer Drake is in response to yesterday's post by Bill Albert. Do you have a reaction to what Bill said? To Jennifer's rebuttal? Let's hear what you have to say!

So is it the flippancy with which Jenna seems to answer the question about marriage, or our judgment about women and men in this industry that troubles us the most?

I ask because we typically don't hear the same opinions about the Jolie-Pitt family, which is now up to six kids... and zero wedding rings. Perhaps it's our perception that this is a healthy, wealthy (!) family with two successful, financially stable, and responsible parents. Criticism of Ms. Jameson's career choice aside, she has no doubt made a living for herself and carved out her own place in pop culture, much like "Brangelina." She's not married, but her child's father is one of the most successful MMA fighters in the business today. Chances are they're not struggling financially.

This is a thirty-something woman with a couple of marriages and even more life experiences under her belt, who according to some accounts may have badly wanted this pregnancy. Should her (former?) career/reputation automatically exclude her from the possibility of raising a kid, and all of the warm fuzzies that come along with having your own family? Or her marital status for that matter, when to our knowledge she has a supportive partner? As my dad likes to put it, "We all got issues," so I wouldn't count her to be any less ready to be a parent than Angelina "I-wear-a-vial-of-my-husband's-blood-around my-neck" Jolie. I'm just sayin'.

And perhaps we could have found a picture of Jenna that is less...well, just less. Tito Ortiz is much better looking anyway :)