Ever wonder how births among teen girls have changed over the past 15 years? Or if parents ever disagree about whether their pregnancy was planned or not? Or even wonder how an unplanned pregnancy might affect the relationship stability of the parents? Or their happiness in their relationship? Don't look any further for answers, simply check out the 5 new sections of our DCR (Data, Charts, Research) Report and find out!

Section E - The Changing Portrait of Teen Childbearing Over Time
This section provides a portrait of teen births among girls age 15-19 in the United States, from 1991 to 2006. More specifically, the section explores the distribution of teens giving birth by age, race/ethnicity, nativity, marital status, and education, as well as the proportion of teen births that are low birth weight and are premature.
Highlights: Non-Hispanic white teens account for the largest share of teen births. However, since 1991, the proportion of teen births that are to non-Hispanic white and non-Hispanic black teens has decreased while the proportion of teen births to Hispanic teens has increased.  

It was the weirdest "talk" we had ever had.

My mother had always been very open and honest with me when I had questions about sex and relationships, but this just took the cake. So what was this strange piece of unsolicited advice I received as we drove through my high school boyfriend's neighborhood?

"I know you really love him, but don't marry him. It's okay to have sex with him if you think that's the right thing to do."

Maybe she saw the gleam in my angst-y, seventeen-year-old eyes as we drove past his house on the way home from school that day. Maybe she remembered what it was like to be a teenager in love. Maybe she and her sisters had visited a spirit guide on their annual girls' night out earlier that year who told her that her youngest daughter would marry before the age of 20 (true story). Whatever it was - and I'm assuming it's probably a combination of all three of these factors - this was a message she delivered with the same urgency and conviction as the information she had been giving me about my body and birth control, the realities of raising kids, and all the other important stuff for my entire life.

Don't miss the season premiere of the hit ABC Family original series "Greek" on Monday at 9pm/8c. It's a look at the lives and relationships of college kids - funny, dramatic, and full of great characters. The National Campaign is working with the show, so look around their website and stay tuned for a PSA later this season.

Need to catch up before the premiere? Watch the Cram Session videos and relive the previous seasons of "Greek."

 

Have you been watching the new documentary series "16 and Pregnant" on MTV? I have and I think it's great. But I'm a 31-year-old man -- hardly MTV's demographic -- so you probably don't care what I think.  Instead, I've asked one of the wonderful teens with whom we work, Avery from Chevy Chase, MD, with to share some of her thoughts on the show. Here's what she had to say:

The title of MTV's new show, "16 and Pregnant," is pretty self-explanatory. The show shares the personal stories of teenage girls who are dealing with pregnancy and parents. Despite the fact that they all have teen pregnancy in common, each of the girls we've met so far - Maci from Tennessee, Farrah from Iowa, and Amber from Indiana - have completely different lives and interests. However, each of the girls starts out saying that she will keep her life nearly the same as her pre-pregnancy existence once she has her baby. Not surprisingly, conflicts immediately arise. The main issues stem from the teens' desire to maintain some, if not all, of their pre-baby priorities and the strain it puts on their relationships.

Sunday is father's day. A day society sets aside to honor our own fathers, and the fathers of our children. But one other generation of fathers is not getting enough attention--the fathers our sons will become (or not become). As of 2002, roughly 70 percent of young men had sex by age 19 even though less than a third are likely to be married by the time they reach 30. That's a lot of years to be careful about not getting pregnant until he's ready to be a dad. Most single guys in their early 20s are using some form of protection (85%), but that leaves 15% using nothing at all. And of those who say they use a condom only about one third say they use it every time.

The result? Among 15 to 24 year olds, 20% have already fathered a pregnancy, with roughly half being unplanned and most being outside of marriage (and that doesn't even count the pregnancies they don't know about).

My point? While we're busy reminding our sons to send a nice card or call their dads on father's day, let's take the opportunity to talk to our sons--remind them that being a dad is hard work, life changing even, and something that should wait until two people are committed to each other and to parenthood for the long haul. And that means being responsible in their relationships. It's one of the best ways to honor how awesome dads can be.

For the past several years more than half of teens surveyed in our occasional polls have told us that they wish they had waited to have sex. Martino and colleagues explore this concept in greater depth in the June edition of Perspectives in Sexual and Reproductive Health. They test the idea that TV contributes to these high levels of regret because TV sets unrealistically high expectations about the positive outcomes of sex (and teens might not actually experience these positive outcomes). The authors use data gathered from the same teens at 3 different time points from 2001-2004 to determine the impact of TV on feelings of regret about sexual initiation. They determine that their hypothesis is correct for teen boys who watch a lot of sex on TV, but not girls.

In other words, teen boys who watch a lot of sex on TV are more likely to report that their expectations about sex fall after they actually have sex. Girls' (who incidentally report much higher regret) expectations about sex remain consistent before and after they first have sex. Other reasons why teens regret having sex have to do with their readiness for sex, their partner, or the status of their relationship. Clearly this article raises a lot of important questions including...

Why do you think so many teens wish they had waited to have sex?

Do you think access to more sexually explicit material on the internet will influence sexual regret?

Yesterday on The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra interviewed Eric and Lauren, a couple who waited until they got married to have sex. After two years of marriage they are still virgins because Lauren freaks out every time they attempt to have sex. Click here to watch a clip of the interview and see what Jezebel had to say about it.

I don't know if religion played a part in their decision to wait to have sex. But as a card-carrying member of the Christian community I can tell you that I have heard this story before. It goes like this: boy meets girl, they fall in love, and because they are "good Christians" they wait to have sex until they get married, and then after the wedding sex is a huge obstacle for the woman. Why, might you ask? Because a ring and a marriage certificate do not erase years of being told: "Sex is bad. Don't do it, and as a Christian girl, with no sexuality of your own, it's your job to play defense because boys can't control themselves." I'm not saying that abstinence until marriage is a bad thing. But in my opinion, teaching women to fear sex and their own sexuality is emotionally and spiritually damaging.

The church teaches so many good things about relationships: love, respect, commitment, compromise, communication, and self-sacrifice. But I think it can do a better job of talking about sex and sexuality.

Polls suggest that teens feel that girls receive different messages than boys about sexuality. Do you think your church (if you have one) sends different messages to girls and boys?

Do you think churches should change the way they teach about sexuality?

The first thing I noticed about this video (besides the exaggeratedly bad acting)? Inaccurate information about contraception (it's true that abstinence is the only way to be 100% sure to avoid pregnancy and STDs, but using a condom is a lot safer than having sex without one). The second thing I noticed? Gender stereotypes turned upside down! Ok, I'm being a little dramatic, but really, it's almost refreshing to see all the old cliches of teens pressuring each other to have sex before they're ready reversed to show the girl as the aggressor. Contrary to popular belief, women's sex drives are comparable to men's, yet popular culture often perpetuates the stereotype that men always want sex and women--well--don't.

We all know it takes two to make a baby (well, so far, anyway?), yet the focus of teen pregnancy prevention and the responsibility for sexual decision-making in general so often falls upon young women. There are many good reasons for this, of course, including the fact that girls are often the ones who have to deal with the consequences of their sexual decisions and the fact that resources for prevention efforts are often very limited. Even so, guys have been getting a bit more much-deserved attention of late for the role they can and should play in forming healthy relationships and making responsible decisions. Nevertheless, many existing male involvement initiatives focus on men who are already fathers, rather than reaching young men before they become parents.

A recently released study on marriage and the impact of childbearing on marriage determined that after the birth of their first child, couples experience a sudden decrease in marital quality. While couples without children also experience declines in marital quality over time, the decline is much more gradual. The overall conclusion from the research is that becoming parents is a particularly challenging time for couples--probably not surprising findings for most parents or couples.

Now imagine how the data on relationship quality would look if it turned out that the pregnancy was unplanned--or if the couple wasn't married when they found out they were about to become parents. Couples in these situations are more likely to break up than married couples who plan their pregnancy. Clearly, becoming a parent can be very rewarding, but it isn't easy. Parents will be better suited for this adventure if they decide to plan when they are ready (or not ready) for the challenging task of raising a child together.

As Stefanie points out below, and as several of our other bloggers have mentioned, the media--TV, movies, magazines, etc.--are brimming with "information" about sex and relationships. Sometimes they even go so far as to point out that sex without contraception can lead to pregnancy. However, these Hollywood portrayals more often than not lead to some sort of happy ending in which the couple sticks together and everything works out by the time the credits roll around.

If only real life worked out so neatly...just yesterday I was reading the morning free paper and stumbled upon an advice column featuring a letter from a woman who is concerned about her friend who became pregnant as the result of a drunken hook-up with a former boyfriend. According to the letter, the friend is holding on to the hope that the boyfriend (who has previously stolen, lied, and cheated) will come back because of the baby. Have you heard this from someone you know? How'd it turn out?

Unfortunately, research suggests that most couples who have an unplanned pregnancy aren't married or even living together by the time the baby is two (i.e. "Sex won't make him yours, and a baby won't make him stay"). Far be it from me to say that drunken trysts with ex-boyfriends are off-limits, but it's time we start talking and thinking about the consequences of conceiving and bearing children as a result. Huge advances in the field of family planning have given us great contraceptive methods that can be used/taken/inserted long before we are at the bar/club/bedroom. So...

How do we encourage more people to use these modern, effective methods instead of relying on the mantra of "it won't happen to me"...or thinking it might be for the best if it "accidentally" does?

"hey whats up?"
"nothing what are you doing?"
"dont know, want to hang?"
"yeah come over"

A series of innocent text messages or a new system of courtship? From teens 'sexting' to twenty-somethings dating via Blackberry Messenger, the cell phone age has ushered in a new system of courtship that makes all-night phone conversations seem archaic and written love letters resemble ancient artifacts. Why bother calling the object of your desire when you can simply send a "what's up" in a text message? Who would take the time to actually get together with a potential love interest when BBM-ing allows the users to message in real-time speed? It's like real conversation, right?

Wrong. Not to mention, with new technology comes new etiquette. Capitalization, word choice, time in between messages; even abbreviations must be treated with the proper manners. Time matters. Late night texts may be construed as booty calls. Number of texts sent in a row matters. Two consecutive text messages: okay, if you have a good amount of information to convey. Three consecutive text messages: you might as well write 'needy' on your forehead.

Then there are the actual texts themselves. I'm the first to admit that I have spent hours analyzing every character in a 35-character text. Was the typo intentional? What does he mean by 'hang out'? Is 10pm considered late-night or did he just get off of work? How long do I need to wait to text him back? If my response is longer than the maximum allotted characters in a text can I send him two, or--gasp--hit the send button and just tell him with words in a phone call? A piece of technology invented to make correspondence easier and mobile has only complicated our relationships and caused a great deal of stress in an already stressful environment.

Want to hear the rules from a more scholarly source (as if one even exists...)? Check out this article from FoxNews.com's FOXSexpert.

Lauren Mann is an intern in the National Campaign's Entertainment Media and Audience Strategy department. She is a junior at George Washington University, majoring in Communications and Journalism.

Who says there's no good news in the economic downturn? A Washington Post article says previously free-spending young men are having to cut back on their efforts to buy women's attention with large infusions of cash. No more rounds of $15 martinis for said woman and her friends. No more Moet champagne, $250 dinners.

In other words, it's not as easy on the wallet to get a desirable woman smashed before taking her to bed. Too bad.

One guy said he is more likely to take his dates hiking now than to fancy restaurants. Gosh, they might even find they can have fun together sober.

Interestingly, another Post story is about the health risks for women who drink even a glass of alcohol a day. I wasn't particularly happy to hear that--but maybe not a bad thing for women to know when, instead of a round of Manhattans, their date orders a round of Budweisers.

Newly sworn in President Obama spoke yesterday of personal responsibility and I hoped he might offer some examples as he had done when campaigning. A few were mentioned, but they tended towards the macro and institutional—understandable given the momentous occasion and the certain knowledge that there were millions of good souls in front of him who were, literally, freezing and had been standing in a huge sardine can for 6 hours or more (not that I am complaining). No time for long lists or numerous examples, eh?

So, to fill the gap: for those of us who worry about family structure and pregnancy planning and best beginnings, what might we say personal responsibility means? Here are four bits and pieces that I have been mulling over:

1. Unless both partners are in a committed relationship, are seeking pregnancy, and are willing to devote two decades and more to child-rearing, having sex without contraception or some attention to family planning is irresponsible.
   


2. It's irresponsible for doctors/nurses/clinics to fail to talk with women about all the effective contraceptive options available to them (and there are lots now).
   


3. When insurance/pharma prescription companies finance Viagra with minimal cost-sharing but get all weird and expensive when it comes to birth control, that's irresponsible.
   


4. Offering a sex education curriculum that does not include generous amounts of attention to respectful relationships and what types of family structures seem to benefit children the most is irresponsible.

I welcome additions....

KERA, the NPR TV and Radio station for north Texas, has made a year-long commitment to examing the "complex personal and cultural factors that contribute to the way adolescent girls form and maintain relationships."  The first part of the project is a series of engaging, sobering, and thought-provoking radio biographys of sorts---four teens describe the challenges of their relationships, pregnancies, and raising children.

If nothing else, the KERA series by Sujata Dand makes clear that efforts to prevent too-early pregnancy and childbearing often miss one of the most important topics of all---healthy relationships.  Young people are often told about how to redcue the risk of pregnancy and STIs but rarely are they given guidance on how to successfully navigate the minefield of relationships.

The series is very well done and worth a few minutes of your time. In fact, the series could serve as a terrific tool for those who work directly with teens.  Have them listen and discuss. The Campaign also has some helpful materials for parents on the topic of relationships.  Check 'em out.

Note from the blogkeeper:  This post by Laura Sessions Stepp is in response to yesterday's post by Bill Albert, the subject of which was a Washington Post op-ed by Amy Schalet.

The key phrase here, Bill, is "later teens." I can't imagine parents are offering bedrooms to 14- or 15-year-olds. But older teens? That's a different matter.

By the end of high school, a sizable majority of American teens are having sex. Is a pal's basement a better place than home? How about the back of a car? Or the Econo Lodge? We Americans spend too much time thinking about how to prevent young people from having sex (with mixed results at best) and not enough time helping them think about how, when the time comes, they can do it safely and in a loving relationship. I think Schalet is correct: Sleepovers at home, smartly handled by parents and teens, could encourage conversations that young people badly need before they go to college. And once they get to college, give them something to remember when they're tempted to sleep in some stranger's bed.

 

Amy Schalet is an assistant professor of socilogy at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst.  In an op-ed piece today in The Washington Post entitled; "A Question for Sarah Palin,"  Schalet discusses the importance of talking to teens about sex and contraception and the critically important role that parents can and should play in helping their children make good choices about sex.  She correctly notes that teen pregnancy is not inevitable but notes with concern the recent rise in the teen birth rate.

Right on.  Amen Amy.  I'm with you.

Schalet goes on to suggest that the United States might learn some valuable lessons in preventing teen pregnancy from the Dutch.  Citing her own research, she suggests that a majority of Dutch parents are willing to permit their older teen children who are in committed relationships to spend the night together in their parents' homes, "but only when they see that they have formed a loving relationship, feel ready for sex, and understand how to use contraception responsibily."  Schalet notes, "by accepting teen sexuality within these parameters, Dutch parents can stay involved, monitor relationships, and urge proper contraceptive use."

Huh? Amy, you lost me in the Netherlands.

 

Although the National Campaign is not focused intensely on sex education, I am often asked what I think should be taught and when and by whom and under what circumstances, and usually I find ways to refer people to our website, where our "Ten Tips for Parents" appear, along with much else about effective curricula and more. But I am beginning to think that we need a new list—or perhaps an additional list—of topics to discuss with young people as well as among ourselves.

Here is the way I think about it. This nation has been engulfed for years in a series of arguments that touch on sex, love, and relationships—a partial list includes abortion, abstinence-only curricula versus comprehensive sex education, parental consent, and birth control clinics in schools. There are more, too, but those are the biggies.

But I think that while we have all been arguing about such matters, a number of simple, basic ideas has fallen by the wayside. When I speak about them—see list below—people often write them down or ask me to "go slower" so that they don't miss any. Sometimes they are treated like news, even though I would imagine my grandmother might have laid them out quite easily. So, here is my list of topics we need to discuss with teens, in particular, although many apply to young adults as well.

Aunt Sarah's List

1. Sex has risks, meaning and consequences.  Take it seriously....
2. A couple shouldn't have sex if they can't talk about birth control and what they will do if pregnancy occurs. 
3. Girls: Sex won't make him yours and a baby won't make him stay.
4. Boys: Making babies doesn't make you a man.  Being a devoted partner and father can....
5. Babies need adult parents.
6. Babies don't cement relationships; they stress them.
7. Babies don't give unconditional love; they seek and demand it from the adults around them.
8. Children do best when they are raised by parents who are committed to each other and to years of devoted parenting.
9. Getting pregnant, having babies, and raising children is perhaps the most important thing we do (and it also costs a lot).  Therefore, it needs to be thought about carefully, not stumbled into.  We plan many relatively unimportant things all the time: vacations, outfits, dinner, presents, what movie to see....  Doesn't pregnancy deserve at least the same amount of planning?

Do you have a tenth topic for Sarah's list?  Tell us your thoughts.

The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy issued the following in response to the announcement that Bristol Palin, the 17-year-old daughter of Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin, is pregnant:

• The teen pregnancy and birth rate have declined dramatically since the early 1990s (down 38% and 32% respectively) driven by decreases in sexual activity and increases in contraceptive use.
• Even so, recent data show that the declines in teen sex and improvements in contraceptive use have leveled off and that the teen birth rate is on the rise for the first time in 15 years.
• At present, 3 in 10 girls in the United States become pregnant by age 20.
• At present, half of all pregnancies in the United States are unplanned and about 8 in 10 pregnancies to teens are unplanned.
• The teen pregnancy and birth rate in Alaska is below the national average and, since the early 1990s, has declined more steeply than the national average.

"Getting pregnant and bearing children is one of the most important steps any person takes and we certainly wish Bristol Palin and her family the best," said Sarah Brown, CEO of the National Campaign. "Given that teen pregnancy will once again be in the national spotlight, we also hope that parents nationwide will take this opportunity to talk to their own children about sex, love, relationships, values, pregnancy, and family formation."

We are thrilled to announce the winners of the "What's Your Relationship Reality?" Video Mash-Up Contest, which was co-sponsored by The National Campaign's StayTeen.org and the Dibble Institute. We received some great video entries shot by teens from all around the country on webcams, cell phones, and video cameras, which they then remixed using our StayTV video mash-up tool.

We were very impressed with the quality of all of the submissions, but TWO of them stood out from the rest of the pack. The winners of the first ever Stay Teen video contest are:

	Just the Way I Am (Submitted by Kelly B. from Midlothian, IL) - This video shows Kelly and her boyfriend supporting one another and cheering each other on as they both shave their heads to support the St. Baldrick's Foundation, an organization dedicated to raising awareness and funds for children's cancer research.
	Relationship Reality (Submitted by Kevin P. from Jackson, TN) - This clever submission includes a montage of images that focus on different types of healthy relationships intermingled with words like respect, responsibility, rely, recognize, and more.

Congratulations to Kelly and Kevin on their outstanding videos and thanks to all of the teens who took the time to enter a video in the contest. For more information about the contest and to watch the winning videos, please visit our Contest Winner page at StayTeen.org.

I hear that NBC's "Baby Borrowers" is one of the biggest summer shows EVER. I have watched all the episodes now, each several times. I love it. Truly, madly deeply. I started watching because I had to (the Campaign developed discussion guides for the show though we had nothing to do with its basic premise or taping), but I am now a flat-out convert.

Tonight, NBC is airing a special follow up about the show, and because I am in this special (please do NOT watch my segment unless you promise to tell me that I looked 32....), I have now had extensive contact not only with the teen couples but also the "lender" parents and the show's wonderful creator, Richard McKerrow. Based on hours with all these people and others, I am more convinced than ever that this program is a force for good. It reveals in living color why teens are best advised to postpone parenthood—and it does so without being preachy or annoying. In particular, it shows how the stress of babies is overwhelms fragile teens relationships.

Shocking news bulletin: None of the couples are still together....

I also think that all the whining about how traumatic the experience of being "lent" was to the babies is not credible. Think babysitters. Think day care centers. Think, we went to NYC for the weekend but my sister took care of Baby Walter.... ALL the lender parents would do it again in a heartbeat.

I must also report that (1) there was more food backstage for the taping of this show that I saw at the last three weddings I attended combined, and (2) l loved the "hair and make-up" gig. I think they took 5 years off me...no small feat.

9 pm in the East. NBC. Tonight.

The lovely ladies of ABC's "The View" talked teen pregnancy on Thursday with actors from "One Life to Live" and The National Campaign's own Marisa Nightingale.  Kristen Alderson, who plays 16-year-old Starr Manning on the daytime drama, and Brandon Buddy, who plays her 17-year-old boyfriend Cole Thornhart, talked about their pregnancy storyline - what they've learned, the reaction they're getting from readers of their blog and how they hope its helping others deal with the challenges of teen sexuality.  Marisa contributed some excellent words of wisdom to the segment as well, encouraging parents to talk to their kids about sex and relationships. You can see the whole thing here.

Please, all of you, read this article from the New York Times.  It is, apparently, an award winning essay and there are more to come from the same competition that led to this one.  I love its pace and candor, and Marguerite Fields needs to immediately write more and start her own blog.  

 

But what she reports is so, so depressing to me.  Doesn't this sad chronicle show -- definitively -- that we have lost our way?   I find it deeply distressing that this saga of random hook ups and failed connections is part of the legacy of the women's movement and the advent of modern contraception.  I thought the point of those two advances, in particular, was the chance to deepen human relationships.  Is there anything about what Marguerite reports that suggests progress?  

 

Discuss.