An interesting study by the University of Pittsburgh published in the November issue of Pediatrics found a link between teen girls' body weight (actual and perceived) and their likelihood of engaging in risky sexual behaviors. These included having intercourse before turning 13, having sex with more than four partners, consuming alcohol in connection with sex, and having unprotected sex.  The study surveyed 7,200 high school girls, with half reporting that they had ever had sex.

Some key points:

• Caucasian girls who believed they were underweight were more likely to have had sex and to have had four or more sexual partners than girls who considered themselves at a normal weight.
• Caucasian girls who were actually overweight were less likely to use condoms.
• African-American girls who were underweight were less likely to use condoms than those of normal weight, and overweight African-American girls were more likely to report four or more sexual partners.
• Latina girls of all weights were more likely to engage in a wide variety of risky sexual behaviors, from lack of condom use and sex before age 13 to having more than four sexual partners during their teens and using alcohol.

In case you haven't seen the Campaign's newest publication, I highly recommend it. And not just because I work here.

As someone who is admittedly ALWAYS attached to some form of media, the format for these helpful tips really strikes a chord with me. While I generally make my contribution to the Campaign's work by keeping my nose buried in some piece of legislation (light reading, anyone?) this got me thinking about the work that my colleagues on the other side of the office do to figure out all the ways we can reach folks through digital media.

These types of projects are becoming increasingly popular with our partners who work on teen pregnancy prevention. The Birds and Bees Text Line, which is sponsored by the Adolescent Pregnancy Prevention Campaign of North Carolina and has garnered national media attention, and the text messaging contest that FutureNet in Iowa held earlier this year are just a couple examples.

Are your organizations, states, or communities doing innovative work to connect with those of us who are tethered to our handheld devices? How are you using digital media to advance pregnancy planning and prevention? Are you sending text message reminders for people to take their pill? Texting appointment reminders? Let us know what you're doing!

Ps--if you're interested in learning more about how social media and mobile technology can be used to prevent teen pregnancy, check out our new youtube playlist of highlights from our June 26th conference "Taming the Media Monster: Teens and Sex in the Digital Age."

It was the weirdest "talk" we had ever had.

My mother had always been very open and honest with me when I had questions about sex and relationships, but this just took the cake. So what was this strange piece of unsolicited advice I received as we drove through my high school boyfriend's neighborhood?

"I know you really love him, but don't marry him. It's okay to have sex with him if you think that's the right thing to do."

Maybe she saw the gleam in my angst-y, seventeen-year-old eyes as we drove past his house on the way home from school that day. Maybe she remembered what it was like to be a teenager in love. Maybe she and her sisters had visited a spirit guide on their annual girls' night out earlier that year who told her that her youngest daughter would marry before the age of 20 (true story). Whatever it was - and I'm assuming it's probably a combination of all three of these factors - this was a message she delivered with the same urgency and conviction as the information she had been giving me about my body and birth control, the realities of raising kids, and all the other important stuff for my entire life.

I don't ponder this often, but if I were to consider how to define the word "sex" to someone, I'm fairly confident that I could come within striking distance of an accurate description. But according to a few articles floating around today, I might be a little overconfident...it turns out, Americans have almost no common definition of sex. In fact, about 37 percent of women consider oral sex "sex" -- and 63 percent of them don't. Somewhat surprisingly, men are more likely to consider oral sex to be "sex" (though Amanda Hess of The Sexist Blogs has an interesting take on this finding).

Why the confusion? Have years of philandering politicians and their fast and loose (pun intended) definitions of sex made the American public less sure of themselves? Well, maybe they're not all to blame. According to Erick Janssen, a scientist at sex-research Mecca, The Kinsey Institute, "Sex is a word and nobody is really in charge of that term. In a way, our thinking of sex and definitions of sex is more complex than they were in the past."

And even in the (admittedly recent) past, things weren't very clear. In 1998, two other Kinsey researchers were publishing a paper in the Journal of the American Medical Association on how people see sex. The answer: We can't really agree. "These data make it clear that general agreement regarding what constitutes having 'had sex' and how sexual partners are counted cannot be taken for granted," Kinsey researchers Stephanie Sanders and June Reinisch concluded in their JAMA paper.

So, what's the big deal? Who cares if we can't come up with an official definition? To my mind, it doesn't much matter if my definition and yours don't match up...but sex is a big enough deal that, if you're having it, you should be able to talk about it. And to borrow a point from the Sexist Blogs' Sexist Beatdown, "it's not as important to define what 'sex' is as it is to define what we're comfortable with people doing with us or with other people."

We wanted to fill you in on some exciting news about emergency contraception.

Last week the FDA approved a generic version of Plan B.

This whole thing gets a little tricky since Plan B is available with and without a prescription depending on your age, but we'll try to clarify what exactly was approved. Duramed still has market exclusivity on over-the-counter Plan B which can be purchased by women age 17 and older without a prescription until August 24, 2009. However, the recently approved generic version (which will be marketed as Next Choice™) will be available to women age 17 and younger with a prescription in the near future (hopefully in August, Next Choice will be available over-the-counter as well).

The price of Next Choice™ will likely vary by pharmacy, but will most likely be 20-70 percent cheaper than the name brand version which ranges from $35-70 depending on the pharmacy. Clear as mud? Check out these FAQs for more info.

I don't know about you, but a lower cost version of emergency contraception might be just what I need to stock up on for a rainy day...Not that it's a substitute for birth control, mind you. But you can never be too careful...

For the past several years more than half of teens surveyed in our occasional polls have told us that they wish they had waited to have sex. Martino and colleagues explore this concept in greater depth in the June edition of Perspectives in Sexual and Reproductive Health. They test the idea that TV contributes to these high levels of regret because TV sets unrealistically high expectations about the positive outcomes of sex (and teens might not actually experience these positive outcomes). The authors use data gathered from the same teens at 3 different time points from 2001-2004 to determine the impact of TV on feelings of regret about sexual initiation. They determine that their hypothesis is correct for teen boys who watch a lot of sex on TV, but not girls.

In other words, teen boys who watch a lot of sex on TV are more likely to report that their expectations about sex fall after they actually have sex. Girls' (who incidentally report much higher regret) expectations about sex remain consistent before and after they first have sex. Other reasons why teens regret having sex have to do with their readiness for sex, their partner, or the status of their relationship. Clearly this article raises a lot of important questions including...

Why do you think so many teens wish they had waited to have sex?

Do you think access to more sexually explicit material on the internet will influence sexual regret?

Scientists are making progress in developing a vaginal ring to protect against not only unintended pregnancy but also HIV transmission. As noted by the Global Campaign for Microbicides, "Today's prevention options --condoms, mutual monogamy, and STI treatment-- are not feasible for millions of people around the world, especially women. Many women do not have the social or economic power necessary to insist on condom use and fidelity or to abandon partnerships that put them at risk. Because microbicides would not require a partner's cooperation, they would put the power to protect into women's hands."

Given that women now account for more than one quarter of all new HIV/AIDS diagnoses, that contraception is never one-size-fits-all, and that safe sex means protection from STIs (sexually transmitted infections) as well as unintended pregnancy, safe, microbicidal birth control could be a big step in the right direction.

Yesterday on The Tyra Banks Show, Tyra interviewed Eric and Lauren, a couple who waited until they got married to have sex. After two years of marriage they are still virgins because Lauren freaks out every time they attempt to have sex. Click here to watch a clip of the interview and see what Jezebel had to say about it.

I don't know if religion played a part in their decision to wait to have sex. But as a card-carrying member of the Christian community I can tell you that I have heard this story before. It goes like this: boy meets girl, they fall in love, and because they are "good Christians" they wait to have sex until they get married, and then after the wedding sex is a huge obstacle for the woman. Why, might you ask? Because a ring and a marriage certificate do not erase years of being told: "Sex is bad. Don't do it, and as a Christian girl, with no sexuality of your own, it's your job to play defense because boys can't control themselves." I'm not saying that abstinence until marriage is a bad thing. But in my opinion, teaching women to fear sex and their own sexuality is emotionally and spiritually damaging.

The church teaches so many good things about relationships: love, respect, commitment, compromise, communication, and self-sacrifice. But I think it can do a better job of talking about sex and sexuality.

Polls suggest that teens feel that girls receive different messages than boys about sexuality. Do you think your church (if you have one) sends different messages to girls and boys?

Do you think churches should change the way they teach about sexuality?

In a post on community.feministing.com, Wendy Notsid starts by asking, what does sexual empowerment mean for women? For her it means to "not feel awkward to think and talk about sex ourselves, not afraid to look up information we need or take safety measures regarding sex, like buying condoms or birth control, or going to the Doctor about certain things."

Right on, Sister. That's certainly one characteristic of power. She says that she has been told--by other people her age, I presume--that she goes too far in her conversations. Which is both confounding and sad. Confounding because how could talking about the clitoris and masturbation be "going too far" but dancing in one's underwear in front of delighted frat boys not be? And sad because those of us who called ourselves feminists in the late 1960s fought hard so that women like Wendy could speak freely about sexuality without having to defend herself. (Her post has a notably defensive tone.)

It is difficult to figure out what sexual empowerment means when the culture screams all sex, all the time. As Kate wrote in response to Wendy, "If we've all accepted that everyone else is shagging all the time in a variety of positions and orifices, how do we come to terms with our own desires and drives?"

One sure way not to figure out our sexual selves is to assume that we must do what a man would do in any given situation. Not want to or can do what he would do--that's a different issue--but have to. Here's the way FlyBy expressed that in a comment on the post:

"Would a guy get up on stage at spring break flashing his dick and doing on-command sex acts with other men (even though he isn't gay) while women taped and yelled at him and then posted those videos all over the internet? How many men feel the need to become dick dancers in order to pay for college? Need I go on? Stay gold. That's what I say. Educate yourself. Protect yourself. Enjoy your sexuality on YOUR terms, not anyone else's."

So...what does sexual empowerment mean to you?

As Stefanie points out below, and as several of our other bloggers have mentioned, the media--TV, movies, magazines, etc.--are brimming with "information" about sex and relationships. Sometimes they even go so far as to point out that sex without contraception can lead to pregnancy. However, these Hollywood portrayals more often than not lead to some sort of happy ending in which the couple sticks together and everything works out by the time the credits roll around.

If only real life worked out so neatly...just yesterday I was reading the morning free paper and stumbled upon an advice column featuring a letter from a woman who is concerned about her friend who became pregnant as the result of a drunken hook-up with a former boyfriend. According to the letter, the friend is holding on to the hope that the boyfriend (who has previously stolen, lied, and cheated) will come back because of the baby. Have you heard this from someone you know? How'd it turn out?

Unfortunately, research suggests that most couples who have an unplanned pregnancy aren't married or even living together by the time the baby is two (i.e. "Sex won't make him yours, and a baby won't make him stay"). Far be it from me to say that drunken trysts with ex-boyfriends are off-limits, but it's time we start talking and thinking about the consequences of conceiving and bearing children as a result. Huge advances in the field of family planning have given us great contraceptive methods that can be used/taken/inserted long before we are at the bar/club/bedroom. So...

How do we encourage more people to use these modern, effective methods instead of relying on the mantra of "it won't happen to me"...or thinking it might be for the best if it "accidentally" does?

Yesterday on Salon, Mary Elizabeth Williams blogged about how "Scoring with the drunk chick" scenes are on the rise in movies. Exhibit A: Observe and Report. Which got me thinking, at what point does the drunken sex scene stop being funny and actually become more like advocating risky behavior?

Far be it from me to judge other people's weekend rituals. Maybe having a few margaritas and getting it on with your partner, friend, acquaintance, or person you just met at the bar is how you like to spend your weekend. If so, more power to you. But recent research suggests support for at least one theme from Knocked Up--when you are drunk you may be less likely to talk about your contraceptive options and less likely to actually use contraception. And that is a problem.

"hey whats up?"
"nothing what are you doing?"
"dont know, want to hang?"
"yeah come over"

A series of innocent text messages or a new system of courtship? From teens 'sexting' to twenty-somethings dating via Blackberry Messenger, the cell phone age has ushered in a new system of courtship that makes all-night phone conversations seem archaic and written love letters resemble ancient artifacts. Why bother calling the object of your desire when you can simply send a "what's up" in a text message? Who would take the time to actually get together with a potential love interest when BBM-ing allows the users to message in real-time speed? It's like real conversation, right?

Wrong. Not to mention, with new technology comes new etiquette. Capitalization, word choice, time in between messages; even abbreviations must be treated with the proper manners. Time matters. Late night texts may be construed as booty calls. Number of texts sent in a row matters. Two consecutive text messages: okay, if you have a good amount of information to convey. Three consecutive text messages: you might as well write 'needy' on your forehead.

Then there are the actual texts themselves. I'm the first to admit that I have spent hours analyzing every character in a 35-character text. Was the typo intentional? What does he mean by 'hang out'? Is 10pm considered late-night or did he just get off of work? How long do I need to wait to text him back? If my response is longer than the maximum allotted characters in a text can I send him two, or--gasp--hit the send button and just tell him with words in a phone call? A piece of technology invented to make correspondence easier and mobile has only complicated our relationships and caused a great deal of stress in an already stressful environment.

Want to hear the rules from a more scholarly source (as if one even exists...)? Check out this article from FoxNews.com's FOXSexpert.

Lauren Mann is an intern in the National Campaign's Entertainment Media and Audience Strategy department. She is a junior at George Washington University, majoring in Communications and Journalism.

We all know that Chuck Norris is able to count to infinity (twice!) and that he is so tough that he can slam a revolving door. But did you know he writes an exclusive weekly column at WorldNetDaily.com where they let him talk about anything he wants?

Seriously... you can't tell Chuck Norris what to write. In fact, Chuck Norris doesn't actually write his columns. The words assemble themselves out of fear.

Last week, Chuck took on "sexting" in his column, dispensing advice to parents like Walker, Texas Ranger dispenses roundhouse kicks to the skulls of criminals. An excerpt:

We might live in a technological wonderland, but that doesn't mean it's good to eat from all of its fruits. Most especially, we can never throw up our hands in surrender to marketing and peer (or parental) pressure in order to give our kids everything the Joneses have, especially when those things expose them to others exposing themselves!

Read the rest of the article here or Chuck Norris will find you.

Here are some other little known Chuck Norris Facts:

• Chuck Norris is so tough that when child porn sees him it turns itself in to police rather than take a beating.
• Cell phone towers transmitting "sexting" messages melt in Chuck Norris' presence.
• Chuck Norris is so tough that cell phone 'send' buttons ask his permission before sending messages.
• Chuck Norris is so tough that the guy who invented the cell phone camera has gone into the Witness Protection Program.

(Thank to Marty Kramer)

In the world of 'hooking-up,' there is just too much information conveyed in vague terms. "So I went to that (insert place name), saw (insert partner's name) from (insert location) and we wound up hooking up."

Fill in the blanks accordingly and you have yourself a sentence released from the mouths of college students everywhere. Even I can admit to it. The names and places may vary but one thing stays constant: the word 'hooking up.' Does it imply making out? Sex? Hand-holding? (Doubtful.) What does 'hooking up' mean?!

Which brings me to the crux of this post: the bases. Roll your eyes as memories of your middle school days come pouring in, but let's be honest. None of us are really sure what the exact definition of 'hook up' is anymore, in relation to sexual activity. Do I really want to assume that it purely means sex, and every time a friend mentions 'hooking up' that they slept with that person? I guess this does apply to a few friends. Aside from them, however, the rest of us are lost in a land of sexual limbo, where various body parts and sexual acts co-exist as separate entities but leave with a common name: hook-up. Ready for a thesis statement? I believe it is of the utmost importance to supplement a "we hooked up statement" with a base number, just for clarification purposes, of course. So, without further ado, the official base system, according to the ultimate scholarly source, me:

1st base: Kissing. Includes any type of kiss you would engage in with someone you were romantically involved with. The awkward, do I give a quick peck on the cheek, air kiss, hug or handshake that you would have with a co-worker: not included. Making out, intense lip-locks, lip-biting, lip-licking (ew.), lip-sucking and anything involving a tongue in general: included. Human geographic range of said kissing: shoulder and above.

Please note: the obligatory touching involved with kissing, of the head, face, waist, shoulder, etc. is included with first base. Any other, ahem, petting (shout out to the older generations!) brings the participant to an automatic 2nd base or above, depending on the area touched.

A new poll is out by Consumer Reports as told recently in USA Today and elsewhere.

Apparently, the downturn in the economy is leading more people to spend less on Valentine's Day gifts, while the Valentine's Day pastime of having sex remains as popular as ever. One quick word to all those budget-conscious Valentine's Day enthusiasts: If you're not planning to have a child with this person, save yourself the extra $10,000 per year it will take to raise a child, and use some form of contraception if you have sex—it's a gift that will last a lifetime—much longer than the long-stem roses or the doggy bag from that candle-lit dinner.

Does media influence teen sexual behavior? Can media be used to impact teen behavior in a good way?

Almost everyone has an opinion about the influence of the media on teens' behaviors ranging from violence and drug use to sex. In a report released today, Managing the Media Monster: The Influence of Media (from television to text messages) on Teen Sexual Behavior and Attitudes, we've turned to five experts to uncover the research on this topic and help us better understand how media can be used to promote healthy behaviors (such as abstaining from sex or using contraception every time you have sex).

The introduction, written by Dr. Jane Brown, provides a brief overview of the report and includes the key recommendations for consideration if you are developing a media program. Chapter 1, by Dr. Michael Rich, explores what the research tells us about the link between media and teen sexual behavior. You might remember a study that was released last November about the link between exposure to sexual content and teen pregnancy. Dr. Rich discusses this study and many more in his chapter. What do you think about the link between media and teen sexual behavior?

Chapter 2, by Drs. Tilly Gurman and Carol Underwood, explores effective media interventions from the international community. There have been a lot of fantastic media interventions implemented and evaluated outside of the U.S. and they offer some important lessons learned for U.S. practitioners. Chapter 3, by Dr. Sarah Keller, also focuses on media interventions, but takes a look at those implemented in the U.S. She also discusses the potential application of digital technologies for changing teen behavior, and provides some examples of what researchers have been trying out. Do you have any suggestions for how we might use media to influence teen behavior?

Many people have plenty to say about the media and its influence on teens, especially when it's about teens, sex, and the media. This report and supporting materials—including tips for starting a media campaign and working with the media—can be found on our Web site and provide a clear look at what rigorous research tells us about the negative and the positive when it comes to teens, sex, and the media. So, grab a cup of coffee, take a look, and tell us what you think. Enjoy!

The fortunate among us will not only usher in a new year tonight, we'll also be welcoming a four-day weekend. That could mean a little more time for writing resolutions, but for many, it also means more time for sex.

Researchers and our friends at Trojan report that the Christmas-New Year's period marks an annual spike in sexual activity and conceptions (though I'm guessing it's not just Christians having more sex and getting pregnant).

They list the big contributors to this trend as leisure time, alcohol and partying, and New Year's resolutions to have kids. For those in the last category, we hope 2009 brings you a healthy pregnancy and birth. For those who aren't planning to have children right this minute but who do have some extra holiday helpings of sex, we hope you'll contribute to that jump in condom sales—or use another effective method of contraception.

Happy New Year from all of us at The National Campaign!

Today The Campaign, along with our friends at Cosmogirl.com, released a survey about the scary intersection of sex and technology. As it turns out, nearly 40% of teens are sending sexually suggestive text message, IMs, or emails. And nearly half have received them. Think that's bad? They're also sending sexually explicit photos and video—about 1 in 5 teens say they've posted or sent nude or semi-nude images of themselves. Most send this stuff to their boyfriends and girlfriends but 15% of those who've done it say they've sent such content to people they know only online. Yikes!

There's a lot to talk about here. Teens know it's dangerous and they do it anyway. This sort of activity increases with age (so much for "youthful indiscretions" that are over by adulthood). Teen girls say they do it because they think its "fun" but many guys see it as being "hot" and nearly a third of teen boys say girls who send such content are expected to hook up. Guys show what they're receiving to their buddies. And nearly a quarter of teens say this sort technology makes them more forward and aggressive in real life.

Real life. That's the scariest part of all. If someone has already seen photos of your naked body either online or on their cell phone screen, then the expectation for sexual contact may be more intense when you spend time with them in person. Or it might be harder to say "no" to something in real life if you've pushed the envelope electronically. Not to mention the real life impact these photos may have when potential employers or college admissions officers or new friends or first dates or sworn enemies or pretty much anyone else searches for information about you online.

And for the most part parents have no idea what's going on. When parents were growing up their moms answered the phone and knew their friends' voices. Phone conversations took place in the kitchen in front of everyone. Even if they took racy pictures of themselves as teens the only way to share them was passing around snapshots and then hiding them away. "Friends" were people you knew and spent time with—not a classification on Facebook that applies equally to people you've never met as well as lifelong pals. Parents may (or may not) be old-fashioned or out of touch when it comes to teens' attitudes about sex, drugs, drinking, etc., but at least they've lived through it. Not so with cell phone culture and social networking. Which can make it harder to talk about and easier to get away with.

For survey results, teen reaction, news coverage, tips for parents, things to think about before you press 'send' and more check out Sex and Tech: What's Really Going On on our site and Cosmogirl.com's The Daily Kiss blog.

In honor of "Let's Talk" month, the Candie's Foundation launched the America, Wake Up PSA campaign, which is designed to encourage teens and adults to talk about sex and teen pregnancy.  One of the PSAs aired this past Monday night following an episode of the wildly popular Gossip Girl, with advance press appearing in the Monday issue of USA Today to the tune of a full page ad. 

 

But...

 

Those of you wondering if your memory is going need not fear - you did not in fact see the ad anywhere in Monday's edition of USA Today.  In fact, it was pulled by USA Today on Friday afternoon out of fear of offending its readers.

 

Now, I'm the last person to impugn the rights of freedom of speech - USA Today has the right to do and print whatever they deem appropriate.  Their 11th hour rejection of the ad doesn't make them bad or unfair.  Instead, I'd argue that it just makes them gigantic 'fraidy cats.  For a major newspaper to reject an ad that simply encourages talking to your kids about sex based on the rationale that it might offend people shows just how inflammatory this issue has gotten.  What's worse, it throws into sharp relief just how much work we still have ahead of us.

 

Again USA Today has the right to approve/ reject anything they want.  But if it's a matter of offending their readership, in my humble opinion there are a thousand things more offensive than having an honest conversation with your kids about sex.  

 

But that's just me.

When I wrack my brain for examples the gold-standard in parenting, I don't often think about 80's metal bands.  In fact, I don't ever think of 80's metal bands as good examples of much beyond proper eyeliner application and why spandex is wrong in so many ways. 

But to my surprise, some of those ertwhile made up and spandexed out rockers are now parents - and pretty good ones by the sound of it. 

This morning, I came across an article penned by former GnR bassist and current dad of two girls (one 8 and one 11), Duff McKagen.  After learning that some of his daughter's classmastes were "joking around about sex", McKagen realized he had to have "The Talk" with his girls. 

Check out his blog post on Seattle Weekly, The Birds, the Bees, and My Daughters.  It's hilarious and - if you're a parent - will certainly make you realize that you're not the only one dealing with this!

Note from the blogkeeper:  This post by Laura Sessions Stepp is in response to yesterday's post by Bill Albert, the subject of which was a Washington Post op-ed by Amy Schalet.

The key phrase here, Bill, is "later teens." I can't imagine parents are offering bedrooms to 14- or 15-year-olds. But older teens? That's a different matter.

By the end of high school, a sizable majority of American teens are having sex. Is a pal's basement a better place than home? How about the back of a car? Or the Econo Lodge? We Americans spend too much time thinking about how to prevent young people from having sex (with mixed results at best) and not enough time helping them think about how, when the time comes, they can do it safely and in a loving relationship. I think Schalet is correct: Sleepovers at home, smartly handled by parents and teens, could encourage conversations that young people badly need before they go to college. And once they get to college, give them something to remember when they're tempted to sleep in some stranger's bed.

Although the National Campaign is not focused intensely on sex education, I am often asked what I think should be taught and when and by whom and under what circumstances, and usually I find ways to refer people to our website, where our "Ten Tips for Parents" appear, along with much else about effective curricula and more. But I am beginning to think that we need a new list—or perhaps an additional list—of topics to discuss with young people as well as among ourselves.

Here is the way I think about it. This nation has been engulfed for years in a series of arguments that touch on sex, love, and relationships—a partial list includes abortion, abstinence-only curricula versus comprehensive sex education, parental consent, and birth control clinics in schools. There are more, too, but those are the biggies.

But I think that while we have all been arguing about such matters, a number of simple, basic ideas has fallen by the wayside. When I speak about them—see list below—people often write them down or ask me to "go slower" so that they don't miss any. Sometimes they are treated like news, even though I would imagine my grandmother might have laid them out quite easily. So, here is my list of topics we need to discuss with teens, in particular, although many apply to young adults as well.

Aunt Sarah's List

1. Sex has risks, meaning and consequences.  Take it seriously....
2. A couple shouldn't have sex if they can't talk about birth control and what they will do if pregnancy occurs. 
3. Girls: Sex won't make him yours and a baby won't make him stay.
4. Boys: Making babies doesn't make you a man.  Being a devoted partner and father can....
5. Babies need adult parents.
6. Babies don't cement relationships; they stress them.
7. Babies don't give unconditional love; they seek and demand it from the adults around them.
8. Children do best when they are raised by parents who are committed to each other and to years of devoted parenting.
9. Getting pregnant, having babies, and raising children is perhaps the most important thing we do (and it also costs a lot).  Therefore, it needs to be thought about carefully, not stumbled into.  We plan many relatively unimportant things all the time: vacations, outfits, dinner, presents, what movie to see....  Doesn't pregnancy deserve at least the same amount of planning?

Do you have a tenth topic for Sarah's list?  Tell us your thoughts.

This week MomLogic.com, a website community where Moms from all walks of life and in all stages of motherhood come together, launched the first of their three-part series on Spring Break and teens. Not surprisingly, what they found when they went on location at South Padre Island, TX was a variety of drunk, drunker, and drunkest kids - not all of whom were 21+ - reveling in the lack of parental authority.

On its face, Spring Break is a chance for kids to escape the pressure of school and spend a week relaxing on the beach. Dig a little deeper, as MomLogic did, and see that its become a weeklong binge of drugs, alcohol, and promiscuous and unsafe sex - all those things that make parents cringe in horror. Of course many teens and 20-somethings manage to have a Spring Break that balances fun and responsible behavior, but for every one of those young people are 10 who are busily engaged in the behaviors that MomLogic filmed.

Check out the first part of their three part series here (Spring Break Confessions), with Parts II and III being posted today and tomorrow.

   

 My brother teaches at an inner-city middle school and his 8th graders are currently in the throes of their "reproductive system" unit.  One thing the students are doing is caring for baby dolls or flour sack babies in order to simulate parenthood - they have to carry them, feed them, nap them, and "basically parent them for an entire week."  He says it's really gratifying (and cute!) to see these normally tough kids become protective and parental.  "They're taking it so seriously!  They're all bugging out about how much work it is to take care of a baby." 

He also told me that one teacher showed the old Molly Ringwald movie For Keeps - about a teen couple that has a baby and how their lives change drastically as a result.  He reports that the kids "are more freaked out about what life looked like in the 80s than they are about the idea of becoming teen parents."  Ha!  Note to 8th graders:  Big hair isn't forever.  A baby is.