Sunday is father's day. A day society sets aside to honor our own fathers, and the fathers of our children. But one other generation of fathers is not getting enough attention--the fathers our sons will become (or not become). As of 2002, roughly 70 percent of young men had sex by age 19 even though less than a third are likely to be married by the time they reach 30. That's a lot of years to be careful about not getting pregnant until he's ready to be a dad. Most single guys in their early 20s are using some form of protection (85%), but that leaves 15% using nothing at all. And of those who say they use a condom only about one third say they use it every time.

The result? Among 15 to 24 year olds, 20% have already fathered a pregnancy, with roughly half being unplanned and most being outside of marriage (and that doesn't even count the pregnancies they don't know about).

My point? While we're busy reminding our sons to send a nice card or call their dads on father's day, let's take the opportunity to talk to our sons--remind them that being a dad is hard work, life changing even, and something that should wait until two people are committed to each other and to parenthood for the long haul. And that means being responsible in their relationships. It's one of the best ways to honor how awesome dads can be.

It's like deja vu all over again at The New York Times.  For the second time in the past several weeks the grey lady is red in the face over virginity.  Today's entry: purity balls.  (See previous postings on the topic here and here.) 

Leaving aside everything else one might say about these father-daughter purity balls, I am left wondering--like so many others---where are the purity balls for fathers and their sons.  Don't these father-daughter gatherings underscore the sexual double standard still alive and still well---the double standard that tells young women to say "no" and young men to be "careful." 

Check out some polling data on this topic here (charts 5, 15, and 16)---65% of teens and 61% of parents of teens agree that parents send one message about sex to their sons and an altogether different message to their daughters.  Not too good.