With Billy Mays (R.I.P.) gone and that Shamwow creep lying low after felony battery charges, the path is clear for a new kind of pitchman - one that has no discernible talents and the screen presence of rock. That's right, folks - Levi Johnston is on the scene and he's using the last two seconds of his 15 minutes of fame to sell... nuts?

In a new spot for Wonderful Pistachio's "Get Crackin'" campaign, Johnston - the Alaska teen who fathered a son with Sarah Palin's daughter Bristol - approaches the camera as his ever-present bodyguard, Tank Jones, surveys the scene. Once Tank gives the "all clear" sign, Johnston cracks open and eats a pistachio as the voiceover, nodding to the only reason anybody knows Johnston's name, says, "Now Levi Johnston does it with protection."

What do you think? Is the ad funny or is it making a joke out of a very serious situation? Can sexual innuendo about teenagers help you forget about last April's pistachio salmonella contamination recall or does it just make you feel even more sick to your stomach? Is there anything you would buy based on an endorsement from Levi Johnston? Post your comments below.

UPDATE: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

So Bristol Palin and Levi Johnson have called off their engagement and broken up.

Let's put aside all the hubbub that has surrounded this story since the beginning -- the Red State/Blue State sniping, the I-told-you-so's about abstinence-only education, the small-minded jabs about small-town residents, and the fairy tale fantasies about happily ever after -- and think about what happens to the vast majority of teen parents and their children:

At the time of their child's birth, more than half of unmarried teen mothers say they are either "certain" or chances are "good" they will marry the biological father of their baby.   However, in 8 out of 10 cases, it doesn't happen.

This means the majority of children born to teens grow up separate from their fathers - which often leads to a lifetime of challenges and hardship.  Children who grow up in father-absent families are five times more likely to be poor than kids in two-parent families. They have double the risk of physical and emotional neglect and they are twice as likely to drop out of school. They are more likely to smoke, use drugs, and become obese. Boys have significantly higher odds of incarceration and girls are much more likely to become teen moms themselves.  Incidentally, the teen parents who do get married don't often stay married - marriages among teens are twice as likely to fail as marriages in which the woman is 25 or older.

Being a teenager is hard. Being a teenager with a broken heart is exceptionally hard. Being a teenager who is also a single parent is even harder than that. And being the child of that parent is probably the hardest thing of all.

So whether you are Team Bristol or one of those who hopes Levi lands his own reality show or someone who just wishes this story would go away already, say a prayer for young Tripp Easton Mitchell Johnston, who is not yet 3 months old, and keep in mind what Bristol herself has said, "I think everyone should just wait ten years. ... Because it's so much easier if you're married and if you have a house and a career. ... I hope that people learn from my story and ... prevent teen pregnancy."

Once again, we have a press-worthy pregnancy—17-year-old Bristol Palin. As one of my children used to say, "I have questions."

1. Why has this event not lead to a huge focus on the benefits of teens not getting pregnant in the first place? The best choice for teens is to delay sex (which apparently did not happen here), but the next best thing is to use contraception. Why is that not THE main topic? In my view, the plan that has been announced is LESS attractive—less desirable—than primary prevention.
   
   
2. Why is this pregnancy apparently okay—or at least off limits—just because a shotgun wedding is planned? Do we all really think that as long as teens get married there is no problem? Is that the best we can do?
   
   
3. Why is no one talking about the putative father who himself says he is not interested in kids? Babies and children need devoted fathers. Do we have one in the making here? When both parents actively seek and welcome a pregnancy, the future prospects of their children are much enhanced.