Bristol Palin is bringing out the best in people. They're tripping over themselves to offer support and even congratulations. Such an outpouring of empathy! Of caring! No doubt neither she nor her family would have asked to be in this situation. But they're in it, and the American people stand beside them in solidarity.
But after more than a decade of working to reduce teen pregnancy in the U.S. (a decade that saw a sharp decline in teen pregnancy and birth rates, by the way) one thing still surprises me: how is it possible that people still think that when you--gasp--dare to say that teen pregnancy is not OK, you are automatically condemning all teen mothers?
Most of the teen moms and dads I've met say some version of the same thing. They love their children deeply, but they wish they could have had that exact same child a little later in life, when they felt more adult and ready and able give their child their best. Eight in ten teen pregnancies are unplanned. Don't look at me. I didn't make that up. The teens themselves reported it.
I've also heard teen parents say that it was their baby that gave their previously unfocused life clarity and purpose. Thanks to their child, they have a reason to stay off drugs. To be responsible. To grow up.
I've met teen moms who are warm, caring, and heroic. They have had to sacrifice a lot just to get their kids off to a fair start. There are incredible success stories out there that we don't hear about enough.
But the fact is that babies born to teens are more likely to end up in poverty. To have health problems. To fail in school. And to become teen parents themselves. Again, I didn't make that up. Ask one of the 440,000+ teens who become parents each year if any of that rings true.
And believe me, I've heard a lot over the years from the caring adults who work with and support teen mothers. They often take issue with our prevention ads and messages. I've heard it all. You're anti-baby. You're anti-teen moms. I've even been told that with a name like Nightingale, I should be ashamed of myself.
For what? For trying to help young people who have not yet dealt with teen pregnancy actually become motivated to prevent it? To try to move them from "it won't happen to me" to "it probably will happen to me if I pretend it won't"? To personalize their risk enough so that they might make a decision in the most private possible moment, rather than having something "just happen" that they might later regret? Teen pregnancy is one of the few things that's 100% preventable. But who's going to solve a problem if they don't think it's a problem?
Our challenge remains. Most teens know that there are only two ways to prevent pregnancy: either don't have sex at all, or use protection every single time. But knowing and doing are often worlds apart.
Teens seem a lot less conflicted about this issue than adults do. They don't want to judge their peers. But they're not afraid of taking a strong stance. Soften the message, or make it too treacly, and you're irrelevant to teens. Though you'll have some pacified grownups.
Trying to prevent something without demonizing those who've already done it is hard. But not impossible.
One of the few things Sarah Palin did in her short time as governor was use her line item veto to cut state funding of a shelter for teen mothers. I am not impressed that Palin struggles with the same challenges as the rest of us as parents. The other candidates are all parents too. It is her ideology that is wrong headed for America. The McCain-Palin team represents the wrong kind of change.
What kind of mum wants for her 17 year old daughter to have a baby - only religion fanatic.
My teenage step-daughter is pregnant for the third time. Twice before she had an abortion. SHe did not even try birth control. She is proud of this. She is 19 and can't find a job. I am so angry with her I can't see straight. I want her out of my house. I want her to go live at her boyfriend's parents house where this pregnancy started. I am so fundamentally ashamed of her I can't even be kind to her in my home.
She has a GED, no college plans, can barely make minimum wage, and has no business having a baby.
SHe claims her body cannot handle another abortion. Then how can her body handle 9 months of pregnancy?
I am angry and cannot give the unconditional love a parent should give. I am ashamed of her and ashamed of her father for thinking this is all ok. It's not ok. I don't want to raise another baby. I cannot support this.