Big study came out about today about abstinence and virginity pledges. The headline is that teens who take virginity pledges (sometimes as part of an abstinence-only education program) are no less likely to have sex -- but they are much less likely to use protection when they do.
This nation has spent hundreds of millions of dollars on abstinence-only education, with barely a condom's width of proof that any of it is helping. So what makes this study different from all the others that have also questioned the efficacy of such pledges? For starters, this time they looked at teens who were quite similar to one another in numerous ways (attitudes about sex, religion, birth control, etc. -- also their parents' attitudes), and found that the big difference between those who promised to stay virgins until marriage and those who did not wasn't in the having sex department, it was in the having safe sex department.
Teaching our young people about responsible sex is critical. It's truly "news they can use." It's part of being a happy, healthy adult. Whether they start having sex at age 15 or 19 or 23 or even if they wait until marriage (which fewer and fewer are doing, especially as the average age of marriage creeps up high and higher), they are going to have decades of a sex life and they deserve to prepared. They deserve to be taught how pregnancy happens, how diseases are transmitted, and most importantly, how to avoid both. They should learn not just the biology behind it all, but about the complex emotional components, negotiations, variables, and risks in an intimate relationship. They need to be able to protect themselves physically and mentally. They should be taught that no means no, that it's okay to say no (even if you've said yes before), and that being smart about a topic doesn't make you immoral. It makes you, well, smart.
We teach teenagers how to drive, even if they don't have cars. We teach them about the hazards of drinking and driving, even if they don't like beer yet. We teach them how to change flat tires (or at least we should) in case of an emergency, and we arm them with vehicle instruction manuals, AAA memberships, insurance cards, maps, GPS systems, emergency numbers and whatever else they need to become safe, competent, drivers (and passengers!) for the rest of their lives. We would never let them get into the driver's seat unprepared. Time to do the same for what goes on in the back seat too.
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