In a post on community.feministing.com, Wendy Notsid starts by asking, what does sexual empowerment mean for women? For her it means to "not feel awkward to think and talk about sex ourselves, not afraid to look up information we need or take safety measures regarding sex, like buying condoms or birth control, or going to the Doctor about certain things."

Right on, Sister. That's certainly one characteristic of power. She says that she has been told--by other people her age, I presume--that she goes too far in her conversations. Which is both confounding and sad. Confounding because how could talking about the clitoris and masturbation be "going too far" but dancing in one's underwear in front of delighted frat boys not be? And sad because those of us who called ourselves feminists in the late 1960s fought hard so that women like Wendy could speak freely about sexuality without having to defend herself. (Her post has a notably defensive tone.)

It is difficult to figure out what sexual empowerment means when the culture screams all sex, all the time. As Kate wrote in response to Wendy, "If we've all accepted that everyone else is shagging all the time in a variety of positions and orifices, how do we come to terms with our own desires and drives?"

One sure way not to figure out our sexual selves is to assume that we must do what a man would do in any given situation. Not want to or can do what he would do--that's a different issue--but have to. Here's the way FlyBy expressed that in a comment on the post:

"Would a guy get up on stage at spring break flashing his dick and doing on-command sex acts with other men (even though he isn't gay) while women taped and yelled at him and then posted those videos all over the internet? How many men feel the need to become dick dancers in order to pay for college? Need I go on? Stay gold. That's what I say. Educate yourself. Protect yourself. Enjoy your sexuality on YOUR terms, not anyone else's."

So...what does sexual empowerment mean to you?