On September 17th, the journal Reproductive Health published an article, "Religiosity and teen birth rate in the United States," on the relationship between teen birth rates and "religiosity" (level of religious affiliation) by state. The study found that the states with the highest religiosity also had the highest teen birth rates, even when controlling for income and abortion rates (the study also found that high religiosity correlated with lower income levels and lower likelihood of abortion). Predictably in this contentious field, there are already some who question the overall analytic approach of the study.
Even so, the speculation of the study's authors that "conservative religious communities in the U.S. are more successful in discouraging use of contraception among their teen community members than in discouraging sexual intercourse itself" is worth contemplating. On a personal level (I'll leave the policy theorizing for Rachel Maddow), I've spoken to several of my colleagues from religious backgrounds about this study and they all echoed the theory offered by several blogs and articles--that teens from religious backgrounds are less likely than other teens to use contraception when they do have sex because they don't think it works, or because they feel that thinking about contraception would suggest premeditation and intention.
This is conjecture, but for me it reinforces what I see as a major take-away of this study--that all young people should be armed with information about sex and contraception regardless of how their families and communities feel about them becoming sexually active. And to close the premeditation "loophole," it may be necessary for parents and educators who wish to encourage abstinence to qualify their message that waiting is the best option with the message that if teens do have sex, they should use contraception. Along those lines, EJ Dionne observed in a 2001 op-ed in the Washington Post, "It's better for unmarried teens to avoid premature sex than to use contraception, but it's better to use contraception than to get pregnant."
As we've noted here, some evangelical leaders are now acknowledging that it's natural for teens and young adults to want to become sexually active, even if they're not married. Furthermore, our With One Voice surveys show that the majority of teens and adults do not believe that telling teens to abstain but to use contraception if they do have sex will encourage them to have sex. It may not be easy, but there's no reason why parents and community leaders shouldn't be able to convey their beliefs to youth while still providing them with accurate information to protect themselves if they should falter in meeting their own or their parents' expectations.
What do you think is behind the correlation between religiosity and teen pregnancy?
How do you think teen pregnancy prevention efforts can best use the findings from this study?
I think you hit the nail on the head...religious teens aren't using contraception because it would show pre-meditation.
To improve prevention efforts among religious youth I think the education community can better engage with the religious community. There needs to be more communication and more common ground found.
It would be interesting to have a study showing the knowledge of contraception of religious teens vs. non-religious teens.
Liz~
The more I interact with churches in my own work related to adolescent pregnancy, the more I am convinced that they WANT to help with this issue. The vast majority of religious leaders certainly believe that adolescent pregnancy is less than ideal and see first hand the consequences of such pregnancies play out in their own congregations and communities. Therefore, the work we do with religious organizations focuses on two very important things: 1) Increasing Parent-Child and/or Adult-Child Communication about love, sex, and relationships as well as 2) Creating and fostering an environment where young people feel safe and supported enough to ask the tough questions that they may not be able to ask in any other environment. In those two veins, we also reinforce the message that if there are topics (i.e. contraception) that a religious organization and/or religious parents feel they cannot fundamentally talk about with their children, that they refer those young people to reliable sources of information rather than perpetuating myths and/or supporting medically inaccurate health information. Bottom line, there has to be a continuum of collaboration throughout a community so that young people can get the information they need from at least one point of contact. Generally, this lessens the cognitive dissonance experienced by the religious organizations, enables them to help young people in the best way that they can, and ultimately - perhaps most importantly - ensures young people are equipped with all of the information they need to have happy, healthy, and productive lives.
September 25, 2009
Re: Teen Pregnancy On The Rise; Articles by Time Magazine: Teen Pregnancy Reaching Epidemic Levels in Foster Care, Behind the Boom in Adult Single Motherhood, and How to Bring an End to the War Over Sex.
Dear Mrs. Liz Sabatiuk
About 7-8 months ago I had started working on a testimony for our high schools pregnant and parenting teens that was birthed out of the thought “If I had known then what I know now”. There was a cry that emerged from deep within, and it would cry out “Tell Them Mrs. Hughes”. Mrs. Hughes was the Director of Roosevelt High School’s day care center where I attend here in Fresno Ca, and she had also taught the parenting classes. According to the United States Department Of Education “ teachers and school administrators, when in those capacities, are representatives of the state and are prohibited by the establishment clause from soliciting or encouraging religious activity, and from participating in such activity with student,” therefore my testimony couldn’t be shared. Teen pregnancy is on the rise again. When do we get to try and something different? I was still in high school when I had my first child. My son was only 6 weeks old and every morning I had to get him up, fed, and ready to go to school with me. With my book bag strapped to my back, and a diaper bag thrown over my shoulder I would carry my baby boy in his car seat to the nursery where I would leave him so I could continue my classes to graduate. Although I had became a mother at a young age I still had dreams of what I wanted to do and the kind of life I wanted to have. I had the potential to still make something out of myself and was determined to succeed. So with a destination in mind I was well on my way right after I graduated; well at least I thought. It wasn’t long after I had begun my journey before I realized that I had no directions on how to get there. I found myself turning left when maybe I should have turned right; or right instead of straight; or straight instead of right. I had tried to back up and start over again only to find that the road had been blocked. I was forced to have to take a detour that had one obstacle after another. If it wasn’t a road block it was a dead end street. I had finally just run out of the gas to continue the journey. I was exhausted from all my failed attempts to find the right direction. I was angry because I hadn’t accomplished anything. Then after a while I grew frightened because not only was I lost, but I also had completely forgotten where it was I was trying to go. It was there alone and afraid that I remembered that I have a God whom I can call upon, and I am forever grateful that He responded to my cry for help. It is His love for me that has forever changed me, and His mercy is my greatest need. With FAITH to believe and my hand firmly in His my eyes were opened and my heart was made ready to receive what IS TRUTH. I could see clearly how my life’s mistakes resulted from all the bad choices I’ve made, but the bad choices were the result of not having a relationship with Him. Yes, how differently my life would have turned out if I had His involvement and direction in my life when I was younger, but I can testify how my life is continuing to change because I’m holding His hand now.
IT IS NOT RELIGION IT’S A RELATIONSHIP. I belong to a generational driven church; an Apostolic Movement with a Kingdom message which is committed to raising up the next generation. I am so thankful for the spiritual leaders in my life who continue to set the example for me to follow by being faithful to be “doers” of God’s Word. They are parents who laid down their lives to pave a path making the sky the limits for their children. On a personal level they know me not; yet they are raising me that I might now raise mine just as they have raised their own. I want my boy’s to grow up and become men of honor; hard working; loving; and forever faithful to the God they serve, and the women they love. It is my prayer that state and local programs would make every effort to join forces with faith based organizations and allow God to transform the lives of the adolescents. On May 30, 1998 President Clinton wrote: "...Schools do more than train children's minds. They also help to nurture their souls by reinforcing the values they learn at home and in their communities. I believe that one of the best ways we can help out schools to do this is by supporting students' rights to voluntarily practice their religious beliefs, including prayer in schools.... For more than 200 years, the First Amendment has protected our religious freedom and allowed many faiths to flourish in our homes, in our work place and in our schools. Clearly understood and sensibly applied, it works." As I mention in my testimony for years now we have failed both at home and in our schools to TEACH, or even talk to our youth about the Creator of Life and Life itself. This has resulted in the dysfunctional families we see today instead of the righteous men and women we ought to be. Most if not all have parents themselves much too busy dealing with their own issues in life created by their lifestyle of living. I thank God that I’m not this parent today. The problem is without the “church” there is nothing to compare that lifestyle of living with. Therefore, what was once considered abnormal; has now become normal. Our youth is left to travel down a road to destruction simply because they lack the knowledge, skills, and guidance that are needed to truly succeed. They have a ton of “information”, but no real Knowledge which has limited their choices in life. Is it any wonder why our youth is perishing? There is no amount of education that they can receive that will prepare them for life’s difficulties. Not another parenting class; or teachings on preventative pregnancy; or even another lecture on the importance of staying in school. As necessary and valuable as all this “information” may be; it is of no help to them in the face of their everyday life circumstances. As long as pregnant and parenting teens continue to make the wrong choices in every other area of their life; programs with the best intentions will remain ineffective. Without a greater sense of responsibility to their Creator, and Father in Heaven they will be defeated by life’s circumstances. He is the key ingredient which holds everything together and makes life worth living. Again I emphasize it’s not about a “religion”, but a RELATIONSHIP. The “Church” itself truly is the perfect place for imperfect people that have a desire to be better.
It is the cry that continues to grow from within that has reminded me that the lessons in my life are not my own; but His and for His purpose. I am but only one of the many whose life has been impacted by having a child as a teen, and the effect is small in comparison to a life without Christ. Perhaps I’m less than the least of all God’s people, but I have been afforded the right to be called a Daughter of the Most High. I also know that whether I am in His arms; cradled on His lap; of just laying on the floor beside Him I’m still on higher ground. From here what looks impossible; is possible. I have only a VOICE and know not what to do with it other than to start using it. I have shared my story with The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy several months ago and I’m going to continue making some noise about the issue because our youth deserve so much more. Year after year children are becoming teens and preventative pregnancy programs have made more than enough resources available to prevent it, and has provided more than enough information regarding the issue. The question is whether or not the teens are going to choose take advantage of these services? It’s obvious their not since the teen birth rate is on the rise again and nobody seems to know WHY? Webster’s New World Dictionary’s definition of “prevent” is to keep from happening; make impossible by prior action; hinder. The Government cannot legislate morality, therefore with little to NO control over the adolescents’ environment or those whom they are most influenced by; it’s inevitable that many will become parents before their ready. Our government, schools, and local programs will continue to labor in vain in the efforts to reduce teen pregnancies because neither have the ability to change the condition of the heart. You can continue to create programs that provide temporary solutions, but none can fill the void or deal with their issues at heart. You don’t have to be a President, CEO, Executive Director, or Founder of any organization. You also don’t have to be a Bible Scholar, or preacher to see what’s written in black and white in the Bible. “Keep thy heart with all Diligence, for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23 “Where there is no vision the people perish.” Proverbs 29:18 Does anyone know if children today even dream about what they want to be when they grow up. What is “RESPONSIBILITY”? The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned wants to know. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY IS FOUND IN BIBLE. THEY NEED ONLY STUDY THE WORD AND REMAIN PLANTED IN AN INVIORNMENT THAT WILL ALLOW THE SEED TO GROW. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY WILL SHOW UP IN EVERY AREA OF THEIR LIVES.
Abstinence is possible if adolescents knew the TRUTH about it which can only be found in the Bible; not in another lecture or lesson plan. True education involves the whole being; therefore the body, mind, and HEART must be equally educated. The decision to remain abstinence is not based on good morals and values, but rather in knowing their own value. It’s in knowing that there is a purpose for their very existence and plans for a bright future. Our troubled youth today remain clueless about the strength and the greatness they posses from within that can only come by the lessons learned from bad experiences. It is a relationship with a Father not being a part of some religious system. The religious system is just as bad as the welfare system. They have both proven to be ineffective, and more of a hindrance then a help. We’ve got a bunch of victims and not enough victors. We need to just step aside and allow Christ to become the one to dictate their thoughts and feelings? What’s wrong with allowing God’s Holiness to become the standard which determines right and wrong in their conduct? We have so many preventative pregnancy programs for adolescents, but I don’t believe we are doing enough for the adolescents with babies now. Everyone seems to be so focused on the preventative that no one’s listening to the cries for help from the adolescents with babies now? What other programs or services other than Welfare have been made available for pregnant and parenting teens? If we consider children to be the future of this nation then why are we not funding programs that help to improve the quality of life and opportunities for adolescent parents now? If we could begin to see the value in the children of adolescent parents, we could then create ways for them to become an asset and not just another debt for our country. Why must the situation with pregnant teens continue to be a problem for our states when they have the potential to be a solution for our nation? Why not consider a “new program” for adolescent parents that is built on the Word of God that they may began to lay a new foundation down which not only their children can build upon, but the ones to follow? A program that instills a sense of self worth formed from a Biblical world view, and continues to stay focused on the adolescent parents themselves to help them achieve their dreams. It wouldn’t be just another social club to discuss life’s issue, but rather an equipping center that develops solutions for the tough issues they face. It should provide a place of safety and an atmosphere of helpful and caring people. Mentors that can come along side of them to help them develop morally and spiritually by providing the support they need and an example to follow. They must stay planted for their seed to grow. The church is full of Fathers and Mothers who can become the spiritual parents needed to help raise our nations motherless and fatherless. The state most certainly can’t handle anymore. Included should be assistance with housing, career counseling, skills development, and the disbursement of scholarships to pick up the cost where welfare leaves off. They will never become self sufficient with limited education opportunities. Why not try something different? One generation at a time we could turn the tables and start rebuilding our nation. It matters not whether one is a Believer or Non-Believer this will bring about the desired results that every Teen Pregnancy Preventative Program is trying to achieve. They will not only become committed to and ready for the demanding task of raising the next generation, but there will also be less poverty, fewer abortions, and ultimately a stronger nation. There is much truth in all that I have shared. The concerns with adolescents who are “aging out” of foster care that Time Magazine writes about are the very ones that I speak of in the testimony I had written back in December of 2008 which I have included. I have seen and I know of the “help” that is offered to these adolescents through the Mental Health Department of Social Services, and I can tell you now it is no help at all. Mandatory to attend by the Welfare Department I had been given the privilege of sitting among a people whose lives have impacted mine. The only thing that separated me from them is I knew my Creator and Father in Heaven. The hopelessness I witnessed in that place is the reason many remain trapped in the “system” never being able to envision something greater for themselves let alone their children. So again I ask why not try something different? You can’t learn what has never been taught meaning you most certainly can’t parent if you’ve never been parented. I want to see our nation’s teen moms and dads become the Sons and Daughters they were created to be, and not just another statistic. I want to see a generation of adolescent parents come up higher; to actually have the opportunity to live “God’s Best” and have real success. This is my prayer. Do the research yourself and see if what I am saying is in fact true.
His Loving Daughter,
Lena Aquino
Clovis, Ca
"Tell Them Mrs. Hughes"
In October of 2000 First Baptist Church held a conference for teen parents. You had contacted me and asked if I would like to participate by sitting on a panel along with others who had become “successful” teen parents. As I stood before the students that day it appeared like I had accomplished a great deal. Although I became a mother at the age of 17 I still graduated. In 1993 I was a graduate from both Roosevelt and Duncan Polytechnical High School where I took the CNA class (Certified Nurses Assistant). I continued my education by taking a vocational class at San Joaquin Valley College, and graduated from their Medical Assisting class in 1995. I was married with a career, 3 children, and a home. The Webster’s New Word Dictionary defines “success” as a favorable out come or result. I too was convinced that I had become successful considering all I had achieved, but it was nothing more then an illusion. Now I feel as if I have a responsibility to share the rest of my story. I come in the form of a letter not to preach nor to teach only to disclose the TRUTH; and to share the realities of teen parenting in the hopes to intervene before it’s to late for another. During that time I was living a life without Jesus Christ, and I also had a substance abuse problem that became an addiction overnight. I had to learn the hard way by losing what I thought was everything (material things) to gain what IS everything (life). I know now that a life without Christ is altogether meaningless. How differently my life would have turned out if I had known then what I know now. My heart weighs heavily for them who have made a decision to become a teen parent. There is so much more to parenting as a teen than wiping noses, changing dirty diapers, and trying to stay in school. They are now fighting the “Battle of Life” at great odds, and there is no amount of education that they can receive or an additional parenting class that they can take that will prepare them for life’s difficulties. Many of them don’t know that there is a spiritual war taking place. Both heaven and hell are fighting over their life, and the life of their child’s. For a number of years now we have failed both at home and in our schools to teach, or even talk to our youth about the Creator of Life and Life itself. Our youth is left to travel down a road to destruction simply because they lack the KNOWLEDGE, SKILLS, and GUIDANCE that’s needed to truly succeed. I think about the little ones in your nursery now and I begin to weep, because their mothers have yet to encounter real Life. Without a greater sense of responsibility to their Creator, and Father in Heaven they will be defeated by life’s circumstances.
Adjusting to the lifestyle of parenting can be over whelming for any new parent. As you can recall my step father worked on campus, and he did not speak to me for months when he found out I was pregnant. Being the only child they had high expectations for me but I had let them down. So I know what it is like to feel as if the weight of the world is on your shoulders. To have to meet the demands of a new baby, your families, and now his family also? I could feel the pressure build as they were all watching, waiting, and hoping that maybe, just maybe I will at least finish college. I believe many adolescent parents will agree that just trying to stay in school can become a struggle. High school is supposed to be fun, but all that changed after I had my son. The focus went from me to him; turning fun into responsibility. Dealing with the day to day issues of parenting didn’t leave me much time to think about my future; let alone plan one, and I lost sight of my dreams. I can feel the cry from within my heart that pleads "Tell Them Mrs. Hughes". Tell them not to stop dreaming or believing for something more. It is beyond high school that life really begins. There are numerous obstacles adolescent parents will have to face. Problems with housing, education, transportation, employment, health care, childcare, and mental health issues are only a few. As an adolescent parent what I really needed was a hand to take a hold of to help lead me in the right direction. Not another finger to point the way, but a hand. I didn’t need any more parenting classes; teachings on preventative pregnancy; or another lecture
on the importance of staying in school. As important as these topics are I lacked the inspiration, motivation, and ability to see the greatness within myself. Pregnant and parenting teens need to learn how to make their child a priority while still focusing on their dreams to succeed. We are blessed to live in a country that offers services such as Welfare; but it has proven to be more of a hindrance then a help to me. When I enrolled at San Joaquin Valley College I had no knowledge about the Welfare-to-Work program which would have paid for my education at that time. Nor did I know that Nursing and Medical Assisting are completely two different areas in the medical field. I knew what I wanted to do in life (nursing), but no directions on how to get there. I am left with a student loan for an education in a career (medical assist) that offered no new opportunities for growth or possibilities for financial increase. To remain on Welfare is to live in poverty; always living in lack. There is no money to get the things you need much less the nice things you want for you and your child. Therefore you will have to resort to food donations and hand me downs cloths. You will also never be able to provide your child with a good home in a decent area which is important. Your only option on Welfare is low-income or public housing where the safety of your child becomes your greatest concern; surrounded by crime, drug trafficking, and gang activity. Ask my son who was only 5yrs old at the time about his friend that got caught in the middle of a drive while playing in his front yard in West Side Fresno. He’s now in a wheel chair for the rest of his life. I thank God for keeping a watchful eye over my boys when I wasn’t and for moving us out of that area. You are nothing more then a case number and your success is of no real importance to them. There are Rules and Regulations you must comply with in order to receive any kind of assistance (cash aid, food stamps, housing, and ect.) and they leave no room for error. You’re trying to do your best with your less then perfect circumstance, but there are some things you will have no control over. Like catching a cold or flu; your child getting injured at school; or the car breaks down. It’s an endless list of everyday life circumstances to add to your major list of issues that you’re already facing resulting in YOUR “failure” to comply with work requirements for the state welfare program. The penalty for failing to comply is a decrease in your cash aid; food stamp benefits; and 3 to 6 month probation period before you can reapply known as a sanction www.mdrc.org/publications/191/policybrief.html. Making harder then it already is for welfare recipients is not a method of discipline; it’s cruel and demeaning. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve repeated this cycle in my attempts to go back to school. I’m an only child and am extremely limited on additional resources for help. If my child became ill I had no choice but to stay home with them. In 2003 I was involved in an auto accident. I had hit a pedestrian in a wheel chair on my way to pick up my son from his very first day of school. My world as I knew it was turned upside down and inside out. Although I wasn’t at fault for the accident I was a mental and emotional mess; and no longer had any transportation. Our whole life was rearranged and in the middle of trying to sort through the pieces I had overlooked that I too was suppose to be starting school. I was running late for my first day and went straight to my Job Specialist to explain my situation, but it made no difference. I was still penalized for 3 months for failing to comply with the work requirements of the program. So I was left with less money and less food in the home. My efforts were hopeless and I grew tired of being a “failure” so I had just stopped trying altogether. I’ve watched my days turn to weeks; weeks to months, and months to years. Please “Tell Them Mrs. Hughes”. Tell them that problems are not only inevitable but they can destroy their courage, confidence, and faith. This can cause them to lose heart and ultimately their VISION for something greater. Tell them not to allow themselves to become another Welfare statistic by settling for a life of poverty when they posses tremendous potential for success.
I have learned that despite how you are raised, or the terrible things that may have happened to you. Despite the things you learn from parenting classes, family, friends, or what you may think you already know when it comes to raising a child. It is the very CHOICES you make today that will determine your overall success both in life and as a parent. Most of the events in our lives will be the result of our own decision making. Consequences of course will always be the results of those choices. So things like what’s "right" or "wrong" and "good" or "bad" really do matter when it involves making a choice. As simple as that may sound I’m afraid it’s not. Good and evil are not always easy to identify and sometimes you may not see the result of a choice you have made until later on in life. But there is a source that we can look to for direction in life and that is our Creator, and Father in Heaven. As a result of not having a relationship with Him I have spent years making all the wrong choices. Those choices aren’t any different then the
ones teen parents face today. For example when I made the choice to try drugs for the first time I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life, and it is my cry that others do not make the same mistake. It may start out as an experiment or just for fun on the weekends. But believe me when I say, "It will develop into something you can no longer manage yourself". Experimenting with one drug opened the door for me to try others such as Meth, and I have found that there is no line to cross before experimental turns into an addition. Breaking an addiction is one of the hardest things a person will ever encounter. What you think you can control will eventually end up controlling you by stealing your very WILL to choose. I was a mother of three who went to work daily and still managed my household. My husband and I would go out and party on the weekends. We were not selling our belongings to support our habit. Our children were not being abused or neglected, so I never saw our occasional drug use as a problem. Perhaps it’s because I grew up in home with similar conditions. Believing that the use of drugs was just a way of life; almost normal. Parents stopped preaching to their kids “do as I say; and not as I do”. The whole concept of “Just Say No” has been tossed out the window and replaced with “Just Don’t Get Caught”. Although this was my childhood experience I will never deprive my mother of the love and respect she deserves; for all that she has done and continues to do for me and my children. If she had know then what she knows now, she too would have done things differently. I’ve come to understand that regardless of what I may have been exposed to as an adult I needed to take personal responsibility for my own actions and the choices I made. Who would have thought those few minor things that I had been exposed to would have such a major influence on me? So an occasional drink or smoking a joint here and there may not seem to be a "big thing", BUT IT IS. Over time our life finally began to fall apart. The process was so slow that we couldn’t see what was happening until it was too late and we ended up losing everything. Disillusioned about life, love and the meaning of it all I became extremely depressed. We failed our children by allowing our marriage to fall apart. We lost our home and I ultimately failed in my career. Never had I felt so lost and utterly alone with no understanding about the terrible things I was going through. I became overwhelmed by circumstances and unable to see past the mess I had created for myself. Defeated, helpless, and hopeless I finally cried out. I am now and forever will be grateful that my loving Father in Heaven responded to my cry for help. A covering had fallen from my eyes only to see that ALL was the result of not having His involvement in our lives. For the first time I could also clearly see the errors of my ways, and everything I had been exposing my boys to. I had become a slave to an evil habit and I was being controlled by the sinful lifestyle. I was clueless about the things of eternity and to under the influence to care about the things that should matter the most like my boys and their future. I had read once that we have a tendency to parent the way we were parented even if it is wrong because we see abnormal as normal. Please "Tell Them Mrs. Hughes". Tell them not to make this same mistake. Having a child as an adolescent is not considered normal nor is having to be a single parent. The use of drugs and alcohol; any physical or verbal abuse; living in lack and poverty; or with sickness and disease. Although many of them see these things on a day to day bases THESE THINGS ARE NOT NORMAL.....
As I mentioned earlier, many of them are unaware of the spiritual fight taking place. The day they made a choice to become a teen parent the enemy claimed them as his own. I say this not to scare them. It is only my prayer that they AWAKEN. May God give them the eyes to see, ears to hear, and a heart to follow Him. I have come to learn that parents will leave their children with blessing or curses depending on the choices they make. A generational curse simply means; if the parents have a sinful lifestyle then the children will more then likely end up with the same sinful lifestyle and the enemy knows this. Think about it! This explains the cycles from one generation to the next of teen pregnancies, welfare dependency, drug addictions, and incarcerations to name a few. With each new generation becoming worse off then the next what hope is there then for the future of our children and this nation if nothing changes? For instance, with my generation there is no such thing as functioning addicts anymore. This desire to get a living without having to work opened the doors to an incredible amount of wickedness in people with drug addictions. Crimes such as identity theft where it was no longer about how increasingly creative criminals can be, but to what extent they were willing to go. Overwhelmed by their circumstances and attached to their addictions many will remain will remain. Street drugs or medicated drugs such as antidepressants it’s all the same. Sadly we have created a society that cannot deal with everyday life circumstances without being under the influence and it is obvious that we have not done a very good job at "Not Getting Caught" considering we have a higher percentage of our population in prison than any other nation www.pbs.org. There are now 33 prisons in the State of California and are completely full. California also has the WORLDS largest prison for women, and it was reported that 90% of the women were single parents www.prisonactivist.org. Who’s raising the babies? It wasn’t uncommon to have an absent parent in the home before, but a lot of the children growing up now are both fatherless and motherless. My heart weighs heavy for these children for they will only be the product of; mentally unstable; adopting the bad habits and abusive behavior they have been exposed to. Sadly many will more then likely continue the cycle of incarceration. May we keep these children in prayer that they come to know Jesus Christ so that they will at least have the opportunity to choose a different way of life. I remember asking myself "do I not want more for my children?" My boy’s will have enough to overcome on their own. I didn’t want to be responsible for placing stumbling blocks in their paths by leaving behind chains of addictions. The thought of being responsible for what kind of "Men" they were going to grow up and become began to weigh heavily on me. I became frightened as I looked around and saw what men have become. Not all, but most. I realized that there were no positive male role models that my boys could look to. Like most parents I want the very best for my children. I want my boy’s to become men of honor; hard working; loving; and forever faithful to the God they serve, and the women they love. I know there is a lot of stuff I didn’t get right, but I know it need not be that way for my children. As their parent I have a responsibility to teach them about God, but I couldn’t teach them about something I had no real knowledge of myself. So I had made a personal decision to start attending church as a family. We found one walking distance from our home called Celebration, and since the first day I walked through their doors I have continued to stand in Awe. This is the best environment I could have my boys in. It provides them with the opportunity to see for them selves that there is another way of life. I thank the all the Leaders who continue to set the example for us to follow by being faithful to be “Doers” of the Word. I need not worry about all they had been exposed to because God in His Sovereignty has joined me in the efforts of raising them, and they now rest in the palm of His hand and “Mighty Men” of God they will become. You would think parenting becomes easier as they get older but it doesn’t especially when you’re a single parent. There is a lot of heartache and headache involved that often can out weigh the laughs. You will have to assume the role of not only the mother, but also the father in their lives. You’ll be the one to nurture them, and you’ll also have to be the one to discipline them. So one minute you’re loved and the next minute your not. I have to make sure they have clean cloths to wear and their home work is done. I am left to cook and clean as a mother should; but I also am responsible for the house repairs and yard work. I have often felt like a failure because of my inability to completely fulfill both roles. When I was to under the influence to care it made no difference to them. Now that I’m making every attempt to be a good example they leave to room for error. From the life that I left to the new life I’m trying to give them it has been a fight, and I could not do it without the help of God. I will continue push forward believing that my efforts are making a difference. I have nothing more to lose by trying.
Although I’ve made a life time of mistakes from the choices I’ve made; there isn’t anything I would change about my past. My struggling came with purpose providing me with the opportunity to live and learn. That I might grow in knowledge by gaining wisdom and understanding about the errors of my ways. My life may not have turned out like I planned, but it is by the grace of God that I’m not where I was. The rest of my story has yet to unfold, but I do believe my best days are still out in front of me. I don’t claim to have all the answers nor am I a perfect person, but if I wait till every obstacle is removed from my life before speaking up. I would be assisting the enemy at robbing another generation of an incredible life that God has made available to them and of the very Love He has for them. Perhaps I was born for such a time as this. I would be more then willing to expose my weaknesses and all my failures if the lessons in my life can be used to equip another generation of teen parents. I have established a real relationship with my Father in Heaven and it is His love for me that has forever changed me. So please "Tell Them Mrs. Hughes". Tell them not to wait until their lives become unbearable before asking for help like me. The fight against addiction for a life of sobriety must be fought everyday, but it need not be that way for them. This could be one less battle to fight in life, but should there be anyone that has started using anything. Please tell them to get help even if they don’t think they have a problem. I encourage them to seek God’s companionship now because such guidance could eliminate
many bad choices. Only in Him will they find the knowledge that’s needed to have victory over life’s issues and truly become successful. Tell them to dream BIG and never stop believing for more. I’ve included some business cards for the church I attend. They have recently made it available for online listening at www.celebrationchurch.cc, but please encourage the girls to come see for themselves. It is extremely important to be around others with like hearts and like minds who can support and encourage their walk with Christ. It is very easy to lose sight and become discouraged, and discouragement will only keep them trapped and trick them into thinking that things are not so bad. They have no idea what kind of stuff they are really made up of, or that they were created to do great things. I will continue to keep the girls in prayer believing God will open the doors for a way to help these young mothers become the daughters they were created to be. Thank you for sharing my testimony, and I’m sure we will be hearing from each other real soon.
Love Always,
Lena Aquino (Montero)
Class of 1993