I must admit that I have been a reluctant participant to blogging, but finally something caught my attention. Recently, I had two interactions with a shopping mall that revealed to me the younger generation's--albeit, misguided in my opinion--obsession with looking good. I am a child of the 60's, when mothers routinely reminded us to wear clean underwear and never to leave the house without a slip and girdle when wearing a dress. As an African-American, I was often told to be careful with the selection of the color of my lipstick, so that my lips would not be too pronounced. "The times they are a-changin'".
I purchased some gloss (I thought) a few months ago and had stored it away with other makeup. Recently, I retrieved the tube of shiny cream and applied it with confidence that I was going to look fabulous. While I looked the way I wanted, I felt awful. From the moment the cream touched my lips, my lips were stinging as if a hundreds bees had landed there...stingers first. I was convinced that the cream had sat too long in my make-up drawers. This past Monday, while shopping at a Midwest mall, I stopped at the Estee Lauder counter to let them know that their gloss product had malfunctioned. The woman seemed concerned and perplexed and asked to see the product if I had it with me. Of course, I gladly turned it over to her to watch her giggle a little as she told me the product had done exactly what it was supposed to do, because it was a "plumper". A what? I asked. Yes, some women use "plumpers" to make their lips fuller. The product works by irritating the skin and the irritation makes the lips swell and...ta da....you have plump lips. Why?????
From this very confusing encounter I went in search of a slip to wear with a dress made of very sheer material. From one end of the mall to another, each store had either no slips or very few XS slips for a woman who needs an extra-large. I remember when there would be rack upon rack of varied colored slips in a wide range of sizes. Yes, readers, I even tried a big ladies store, Lane Bryant, just positive that, for us larger ladies, modesty was still in fashion. NOPE...no slips. Finally, at Sears, I found one.
But all of this caused me to ponder whether plump lips and no slips represent just one of the factors that have contributed to this new hook-up culture. Why do young women want lips that once were the symbol of street walkers? Is it necessary to show everything under a garment, when a little modesty would improve the appearance of the dress and the image of the girl? What's happened to modesty, illusion, and imagination? A little more of all three may be the beginning of a culture of self respect and personal responsibility and an end the culture of being hooked up and knocked up.
Slips = lack of modesty = the reason people hook up? That logic is just a little too simple, isn’t it?
And as a woman whose mother insisted I wear a girdle with most dresses until I told her to buzz off at about age 17, I would argue that the lack of armor...er, layered undergarments under my dress is more freeing than anything – literally and figuratively. Those things are physically restrictive…you can't breathe or sit in them. And for what? So I can fit into someone else’s idea of what it means to be “modest”? Why do my undergarments put me into one category above another? Can’t a wear a super tight, restrictive girdle and still be...pardon my French...loose?
I think we agree on at least one thing (as we usually do!), and that's the fact that we certainly live in a culture where women don't need to live up to (I would insert an adjective like patriarchal/antiquated/old-fashioned) standards of "lady-likeness" or "modesty" in order to be accepted in society as "proper." Women have the freedom to choose the way they express themselves (including openly expressing their sexuality) in the same way men have been doing for ages. I think what we disagree on is whether that's a good or a bad thing.
Anyone wanna burn girdles with me after work?