Yesterday, on Father's Day appropriately, Senator Barack Obama addressed a congregation in Chicago about the importance of young men supporting their families and taking the responsibility to raise the children they have.  Suggesting that too many fathers are absent from their children's lives, the Democratic Presidential candidate said this:

"We need fathers to realize that responsibility does not end at conception. We need them to realize that what makes you a man is not the ability to have a child -- it's the courage to raise one."

Might I suggest that what would be even more courageous would be rewinding the clock a bit, say nine months or so earlier? Responsibility, it seems to me, begins long before sex, pregnancy, and birth.  What makes you a man is having the courage to wait to become a father until he is really ready to raise a child.  For some that means not having sex at all; for many it means making sure you and your partner use condoms and birth control every single time.

Don't get me wrong; I think the Senator's thoughts about responsible fatherhood are right on target.  Where I grew up, a situation like mine--living with both mom and dad--made me a part of the "weird" family.  We usually ate dinner together, and my dad would come fetch me from doing ultra-cool things with my pre-teen friends to do so.  And research without question shows that kids generally do better when both parents are around.

But why is it that when it comes to male involvement and responsible fatherhood programs, there is so little focus on encouraging men to be responsible by preventing an unplanned pregnancy--before a child or even a pregnancy is involved?  While there are numerous attorneys general and child support enforcement officials all over the country doing great work to make sure men take responsibility for their actions and support the lives they helped create, I suspect their jobs would be a whole lot easier if we devoted more attention to making sure they don't become daddies in the first place.

The CDC has just released new data on high school teens' sexual behavior and contraceptive use.  Headline?  Not too good. 

Teen sexual activity is up and contraceptive use is down between 2005 and 2007.  On every single measure (ever had sex, currently sexually active, condom use at last sex, pill use, four or more sexual partners) the arrows are pointing in the wrong direction.

Perhaps the more interesting and significant trend, however, is the tale of two decades.  All of these same measures (with the exception of birth control pill use which has declined steadily since 1991) improved dramatically between 1991 and 2001.  Between 2001 and 2007?  The most charitable description of the current decade is...well...running in place. 

A few more YRBS items for your consideration: 

·          National Campaign press release

·          National Campaign fact sheet

·          Full YRBS report

Tell us what you think.  Why do you think teen sexual behavior is changing?

A new battle front in the culture wars has opened.  The issue is ICK -- in this case, some arguably salacious material in a sex ed curriculum. 

Here are a few thoughts: advocates on all sides of the sex ed battles have found sections in various curricula that they dislike.  As a general matter, the right dislikes sexually explicit content (the current flap) and the left routinely flags material that is medically inaccurate, homophobic and/or tied to religion.  It seems that almost anyone who sets foot into sex education offends at least someone.  It's tough terrain.    

So, what's a parent to do?  By all means review what your child's school plans to offer in sex ed 101.  If you find aspects of the curriculum that you don't like, consider having your child opt out of the class or perhaps just one session.  

But if you do so, keep in mind the following:

1. Some sex ed programs have been proven to help reduce the risk of teen pregnancy.  It is far better to have your child taught using an effective program than one lacking any evidence of good results.

2.  The overall popular culture that our children live in is very sexually explicit---and remember, it is on the watch of everyone reading this note that our culture has become what it is. Your children know and wonder about and hear tales of things that many of us old ones still don't get.  What makes you blush would hardly be noticed by the vast majority of teens.  Sorry.  It's the truth. 

3.  You are bound to find something that you do not agree with in any curriculum.  The question therefore is---on balance---does the curriculum seem right overall?  Does one disagreeable passage negate what might be 100 pages of positive material?  Analogy: Do you vote for a political candidate because you agree with him/her on every issue or just on most issues?

 4 . If you do remove your child from a class or curriculum, all that does is increase the burden on YOU to become a top flight sex educator.  Are you willing to do that?  To learn about the reality of teens' lives and the choices/pressures facing them, and then offer accurate, complete and compassionate advice?

Discuss.

Please, all of you, read this article from the New York Times.  It is, apparently, an award winning essay and there are more to come from the same competition that led to this one.  I love its pace and candor, and Marguerite Fields needs to immediately write more and start her own blog.  

For more information and to see what others around the country are doing to support the National Day, visit our National Day page the TheNationalCampaign.org.