This piece is cross-posted from SexReally.com.

Alma Powell, a well-known advocate for youth, opened a grand dinner at the Newseum this week, the U.S. Capitol illuminated behind her, by asking a simple question: "And how are the children?"

It was an appropriate salutation, delivered to reporters about to receive awards for writing and broadcasting about disadvantaged children and families.

Powell explained that the greeting is used by Masai warriors in Africa as they pass each other on the road. It is their version of "How are you?" --a reminder that an individual is only as good as her or his child, a community only as good as its children.

It occurred to me that night that those who counsel teens and 20-somethings about sex and contraception are trying to convey something similar. One argument they make for using contraception consistently goes something like this: "Think about the baby you might have if you don't. What kind of a life will she or he have?"

So, not how are the children, but how will they be?

Why is it that some people are better listeners than others? You can tell when someone is listening to you--really listening--when they're actually taking in what you're saying, considering it, and perhaps not even having a response at the ready--not simply planning their next conversational move. Listening is a form of respect, and one that is easily mowed over by the desire to get one's own point across. Like a monologue masquerading as a dialogue.

Since October is "Let's Talk" month (see Bill Albert's post from earlier this month), maybe the added attention will get some parents to move from wanting to talk with their teens about love, sex and relationships to actually doing it. But a critical part of this conversation--and really any conversation with someone you care about--has to be the listening part. We've heard from teens for over a decade now that they are afraid to ask their parents about sex and contraception because they are convinced that mom or dad will freak out and assume that their teen is already 'doing it.' Or that it will be so embarrassing their heads will explode.

If it's Tuesday, it must be Belgium. If it's October, it must be "Let's Talk" month.

This is the time of year when parents are poked and prodded to pontificate about sex. Specifically, October is the month that parents are--steady on friends--encouraged to talk to their kids about sex. Don't get me wrong, encouraging often-recalcitrant parents to talk to their kids about sex is the right thing to do. Still, it has always struck me as a classic case of putting the cart before the proverbial horse.

Why? My sense is that not a single parent in America will talk to their kids about sex if they believe that what they have to say will fall on deaf ears; if what they have to say will have absolutely no effect on their beloved offspring's decisions about sex.

Like I said at the end of my first post about The Sims 3, the teen pregnancy rate for sims is zero. Makes perfect sense seeing as how teen sims can't WooHoo. But, as we all know, teen pregnancy is all too common in real life, so why not have it in a game that's supposed to be realistic?

According to the publisher, EA Games, teen pregnancy is not part of the game because it could raise the game's ERSB rating from T (for Teen) to M (for Mature Audiences Only), and it's so off-limits that they won't even allow people to discuss teen pregnancy in their forums.

"Cohabitation is no place for children" writes nationally-syndicated columnist Michael Gerson.

In a piece that appeared yesterday in the Washington Post, Gerson makes the case that Brad Wilcox, director of the National Marriage Project at the University of Virginia, and others have made. Namely, children do best in two-parent, stable, married families. For Gerson, Wilcox, and many others, they would underscore the married part.

Let's take his argument in bites.

• Being a 20-something at present is different in important ways from previous decades.
• Two markers of this change are earlier sexual activity and later age of marriage.
• In the absence of what Brad Wilcox calls the traditional "courtship narrative"--dating, marriage, children--many young people have adopted a different life choice: cohabitation.
• Gerson concedes that the link between sex and marriage is a thing of the past. However, he believes that the connection between marriage and having children remains absolutely essential.

A gross oversimplification to be sure, but you get the point. Gerson also notes:

• Marriage is "the most effective institution to bind two parents for a long period in the common enterprise of marriage."
• Age of marriage matters too---Gerson calls the early to mid-20s the "marital sweet spot" for marital longevity and happiness.
• Citing research by Wilcox, Gerson says "serial cohabitation trains people for divorce...cohabitation by engaged couples seems to have no adverse effect on eventual marriage."

That's a lot to chew on. We are anxious to hear what you think. Put you comment shoes on and get busy.